City Councillor Declares War on Nazi War Criminals
Ward 14 City Councillor Stefan Orlon is to address London's Community and Protective Services Committee on Monday regarding the problems of Nazi mad-scientist war-criminals living in the community.
Orlon is asking that a task-force be created to address this on-going non-issue. He would like to see a hand-book created so that parents can educate their children about the dangers of associating with known Nazi mad-scientists who may have moved here in large numbers from Argentina in recent years.
"As the father of an impressionable 16-year-old boy who wears Doc Martens and has a skin-head haircut, I worry what would happen if he fell in with the wrong crowd and came under the influence of Dr. Joseph Mengele," says Orlon, referring to the infamous German S.S. officer and physician who was cynically known as the "Angel of Death" because of his cruel and sick experiments on the inmates of the concentration camp Auschwitz during World War 2.
To that end, Orlon says he would also like the task-force to create a "mapping system" which would identify the general location on a city street of any former Nazi mad scientist, so that parents could instruct their children to be aware of the danger by not playing on that side of the road and not be fooled into promises by seemingly kind elderly neighbours to "come here and let me see if I can take that sliver out of your finger."
Orlon is convinced that the mapping system would not promote vigilantism "because most people are still scared shitless of Nazi's today anyway. Let alone the ones who are evil mad scientists bent on restoring the Third Reich after reactivating Hitler's brain. Seriously, do you want your child around people like that?"
When asked about the timing of his latest crusade, Orlon declared that it was mere coincidence that the approaching municipal election of which he is a candidate is only two months away. "This is not a matter of blatant electioneering or a cheap, lazy attempt to get my name in the media," claimed Orlon.
"I am just trying to fulfill a campaign promise that I had made in the last election," he explained. Asked why it took him almost four years to start working on that campaign promise, Orlon confessed that he had been distracted by trying to count his chickens before they hatch.
Orlon is asking that a task-force be created to address this on-going non-issue. He would like to see a hand-book created so that parents can educate their children about the dangers of associating with known Nazi mad-scientists who may have moved here in large numbers from Argentina in recent years.
"As the father of an impressionable 16-year-old boy who wears Doc Martens and has a skin-head haircut, I worry what would happen if he fell in with the wrong crowd and came under the influence of Dr. Joseph Mengele," says Orlon, referring to the infamous German S.S. officer and physician who was cynically known as the "Angel of Death" because of his cruel and sick experiments on the inmates of the concentration camp Auschwitz during World War 2.
To that end, Orlon says he would also like the task-force to create a "mapping system" which would identify the general location on a city street of any former Nazi mad scientist, so that parents could instruct their children to be aware of the danger by not playing on that side of the road and not be fooled into promises by seemingly kind elderly neighbours to "come here and let me see if I can take that sliver out of your finger."
Orlon is convinced that the mapping system would not promote vigilantism "because most people are still scared shitless of Nazi's today anyway. Let alone the ones who are evil mad scientists bent on restoring the Third Reich after reactivating Hitler's brain. Seriously, do you want your child around people like that?"
When asked about the timing of his latest crusade, Orlon declared that it was mere coincidence that the approaching municipal election of which he is a candidate is only two months away. "This is not a matter of blatant electioneering or a cheap, lazy attempt to get my name in the media," claimed Orlon.
"I am just trying to fulfill a campaign promise that I had made in the last election," he explained. Asked why it took him almost four years to start working on that campaign promise, Orlon confessed that he had been distracted by trying to count his chickens before they hatch.
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 7:36 AM
1 Comments:
BREAKING NEWS: Ward 4 Councillor Steve Orser has just declared War on Evildoers on Earth, in our Solar System and across the Milky Way.
Vote ORSER if ypu're tired of Satan wreaking havoc in this part of the Universe!
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