Bands Who Would Really ROCK MY PARK

Living across the river from Harris Park, I always enjoy the free concerts which blow my way on a soft summer wind from Rock The Park, the Classic Rock Fest which runs this weekend. This year I look forward to the return of Cheap Trick.

I've been waiting a long time to hear 'the Trick' (as I imagine they are known to their fan-base,) because I missed them the first time they played the fest three years ago when I had wrongly assumed that they - not Pat Benatar - would be the headliner act for that night and hence spent an hour before I thought they would on inside my air-conditioned house avoiding Pat Benatar and instead listening to Cheap Trick's 'Live in Buddakon' on the rekidd-playa - while at that VERY moment, the REAL thing was playing LIVE two blocks away. At 9:30, I go out expecting to hear Cheap Trick warming up only instead to hear Pat Benatar is still on stage. "Hurry up and end this encore," I thought. But she didn't. She was the last band on. Supposedly, the promoters saved the best for last. Pat Benatar bigger than Cheap Trick? Who'da thought? Geez, I truly am outta the loop.

Anyhoo, Cheap Trick is only one band I haven't really seen there yet. But there are lots of Oldies bands I'd like to see at Rock the Park but never will. Because they only exist in Televisionland.

And just like you can hear the Beatles influence throughout in *any* Cheap Trick song, the bands from retro-TV also had an undeniable effect on *real* pop music. After all, would there be a Devo if not for The Way-Outs (middle photo above)from 'The Flintstones'? That same show also inspired 1960's folk-rockers The Beau Brummels to form a band after seeing The Beau Brummelstones belt out their prehistoric garage-rock hit 'Laugh, Laugh' on an episode where Fred & Barney take Wilma and Betty out for a night on the town.

Other cartoon bands I'd like to see would include The Archies (although Andy Kim in concert is a more than sufficient substitute,) Josie and the Pussycats - or even The Ramones. And we can't forget Homer Simpson's groundbreaking barbershop quartet The B-Sharps - even though today most people wouldn't know the difference between The B-Sharps and the A-Flats.

Then there's television's original garage band, The Partridge Family. They have the street cred to earn that acclamation - they actually practised in a garage for one thing. And even though it all came together when Mom sang along, their cover of The Animals' 'We Gotta Get Out of This Place' rocked just like the original and made Eric Burdon a lifelong fan. The title of their sexually-charged 'I Got Your Love All Over Me' (from their fifth LP,) speaks for itself.

There are a few obscure one-hit wonders worthy of note. The Sacred Cows - a psychedelic band of KAOS agents who were promoted by The Groovy Guru (played by an unrecognizable Larry Storch,) on 'Get Smart.' 'The Electric Shoes' - Kevin Arnold's garage band on 'The Wonder Years' which didn't even last for an entire gig before breaking up even *before* the cops arrived and shut down the party.

And The Frozen Embryos from 'My So-Called Life.' Supposedly, according to Rae-Ann, it was Tino's band, but he had problems with attendence and so Jordan Catalano would have to step up on occassion. Jordan's acoustic cover of 'I Wanna Be Sedated,' always makes Sonny cry.

I'd *like* to recommend "the band" from the gang on 'Happy Days,' but I can't - their lead-singer is Potsie.

But let's not forget one-hit wonder bands who only exist in MovieLand. The Carrie Nations from 'Return to the Valley of the Dolls.' Ming Tea, the Austin Powers All-Star Band from the credits of his first movie - featuring Matthew Sweet and Susanna Hoffs ("Sid & Susie" in the record stores,) as Austin belts out 'BBC 3.' The Folksmen from 'A Mighty Wind' who also opened for Spinal Tap. And speaking of Tap -The Flower People, the first time Nigel Tufnel and David St. Hubbins teamed up. And the chicks in the 90's film adaptation of 'Josie and the Pussycats.' And the Ramones in 'Rock and Roll High School.'

Getting back to TV-Land, my favorite classic television rocker would have to be Herman Munster. His short-lived career (all of one episode,) included his earworm-worthy cover of 'Dem Dry Bones' and a pre-Stooges tune which showed Hermie baby on 'American Bandstand' dressed in sunglasses, black leather garb and a motorcycle visored-cap just like Brando's in 'The Wild Ones' and singing the lyrics "I love ya, love ya baby and all that kinda groovy junk/Be my swingin' baby and I'll be your ever-lovin' punk/Yeah, yeah, ya-ya."

Pop culture experts have long argued whether or not these bands truly affected rock music or were merely reflecting their times? Who knows? But as radio-comedian Fred Allen once noted during the early days of television: "Imitation is the sincerest form of television."