Well, that explains a lot ...

Went to the visitation last night at a funeral home for the aforementioned late Howard (Howie) Engleman. Actually, Howie was always late. That was his only fault. Anyway, one fellow was telling me about how he met 'How' in his college days. Seems that after graduation, Howie went thru a depression spell for a bit - what with no job, no future and the fact that his college girlfriend moved back to her hometown with the captain of the football team. Howie realized that he was in bad need of some professional help but since he was unable to afford a real psychiatrist, he wrote a letter to 'Ann Landers' instead - And she actually answered it. Unfortunately, she answered it in the newspaper and since London, Ontario is a very small town, everyone immediately recognized Howie and learned of his bed-wetting problem. Shortly after that, Howie moved to Des Moines and didn't return for 10 years. ... I used to ask him how the hell he ever ended up in Des Moines but he would never answer. He'd just get quiet and try to change the topic. Well, now I know.