Why You Should Get to Know Me

Hi-Ho kids! Que pasa? Lots going on around here!

They're tearing down the Hotel Brunswick as we speak. The owner has evicted the upper floor tenants and gutting the top of the place. Or maybe people are just misinterpreting his actions. Maybe he's going to upgrade it into one of those swank 'boutique' hotels like they have in Toronto and cosmopolitan cities.

Two - not one but TWO national elections going on at the same time. But you know what, gang? I have to confess, with these two concurrent races happening, I don't have the same level of enthusiasm as I used to. As Huey Lewis once noted - "Politics is the refuge of the disillusioned and the disenfranchised." Me? I just can't get it up for it anymore.

But I like to keep current and so that's why I get my news from 'The Onion.' In fact, I go there daily for my "Morning Chuckle." I also like to check out the classified ad for 'Personal of the Day.' You know those small come-on ads with a photo of a good-looking young lady accompanied by a short quote about "Worse lie I ever told," or 'What's on my bed-side table right now."

Or my personal favorite - 'Why you should you get to know me.' And while reading one of them this morning, it occured to me that I can do better than "Because you like to live dangerously."

In fact, I do the same thing every day on my Facebook daily-planner. You know, that top of the page box where you type in 'What are you doing right now?' And you type in the rest of the sentence to 'Sonny is ...'

So below you will find my daily planner so far for the month of September. Later on I might blog about the election and that whole Steven Harper-Sarah Pollen battle but that can wait until I do my homework and read a newspaper or find out what Charles Adler thinks about it first.

... And AWAY, we GO!

TODAY,

Sonny is living dangerously!

Sonny is excited about his new 'Back to school' shoes. They're Tom McCann Specials!

Sonny is pissed off at his new Math teacher. Who the hell gives homework on the first day of school?

Sonny is ditching third-period French and going to McDonalds for lunch. Bonjour Royale with Cheese!

Sonny is playing Solitaire till dawn with a deck of 51.

Sonny is smoking cigarettes and watching 'Captain Kangaroo.'

Sonny is tired of being mistaken for Bono after getting his new tinted eyeglasses.

Sonny is refusing to be planted in your penthouse. He's going back home to his plough.

Sonny is very, very disappointed in the direction of the new 'Crabby Joes' radio commercials.

Sonny is urging all his supporters to vote for Hillary instead.

Sonny is Space-truckin'

Sonny is wondering how to top his U.F.O. sighting of last weekend.

Sonny is working on Top Secret plans to steal the X-1 back from the Soviets.

Sonny is wearing cut-off Levis swimming at the last pool party of the season at the Hunt Club.

Sonny is the new bass player in 'Punk Andropov.'

Sonny is using his Road Trip name 'Speed McQueen' all weekend when we go to Brantford.

Sonny is collecting jewels - chiefly rubies, hunting Big Game, painting a little, things for myself only. And trying to forget something very sad that happened to me long, long ago.

Sonny is packing the wife and child off to the cottage for the summer and inviting the new blonde in the apartment upstairs down for champagne and potato chips. That's just elegant.

Sonny is enjoying the challenges of the French Foreign Legion.

Sonny is dreaming he's rolling this big giant donut and then this snake comes along and

Sonny is picking up Swanson Hungry Man TV Dinners from No-Frills. It's going to be a Salisbury Steak Night!

Sonny is a rebel. A loner. You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like him.

Sonny is digging the potato salad/corn-on-the-cob scene.

Sonny is all about the paella today.

Sonny is making modifications to his egg-salad recipe.

Sonny is doing research and then drawing up the blueprints for his April Fools prank.

Sonny is using the leftover cabbage from last night's Jiggs Dinner to make Bubble and Squeak today.

Sonny is celebrating wife Mavis' birthday today and is going to give her her 'real' present later.

Sonny is yelling 'Fire!' in the crowded movie theatre of Life.

... And that's how I spent my month.