The Annual C&W Record Review

Taylor Swift (top photo,) and Rosanne Cash in the lower photo, both put out popular country CDs in the past year. Which is better, you may be asking. Which would make the prefered Christmas gift?

I'd say go buy yourself Rosanne Cash's 'The List.' For one thing, it's pretty well a given that you're gonna get Taylor Swift's 'Fearless' for Christmas from your grandmother or a 'cool' aunt or someone older than you. It's like this year's 'Tapestry' by Carole King. Everyone and their dog has a copy.

I know I got mine. Bought it myself. Months ago. And proud of it too. It's one of my favorite CDs. Pop music doesn't get much better than 'Love Story' or 'You Belong With Me' ("I wear T-shirts/She wears short skirts") or even the grandly stupidly titled 'Hey Stephen' (that's right - not 'Hey Steven' but 'Stephen.')

If I was a 14-year-old girl, I would love this CD. Hell, I AM a 14-year-old girl, and I can assure you it is da bombe. I put it right up there with the soundtrack to the 'Josie and the Pussycats' movie.

Because 'Fearless' is pure bubblegum. Unbridled adolescent joy and angst. Beautifully produced and heartfelt delivered 'gum. And I can't give a better compliment than that.

But it ain't Country. Then again, nothing is country on Country Music Television or New Country Radio these days. A few days ago when Taylor won CMT's 'Entertainer of the Year Award,' it wasn't just for the mega-millions of CD's the eighteen-year-old sold last year, but because country-rapper Kayne West made her cry at the Grammies by coming on stage, grabbing her 'Best Video' Award and saying that his video from the Broadway production of 'Oklahomo' was better.

I tell ya, when he did that, it made ME cry too. I'd like to give that guy a good swift kick in the ass. Tell me Kayne, how many millions of CD's have you sold? He's had two medium-sized hits. And both from Oklahomo - the ballad, 'Cowboys in Love,' and the undeniable foot-tapping/thigh-slapper 'If I Were a Cowboy (A Rootin' Tootin' Tootin' Tootin' Tootin Tootin' Cowboy Too)'. Just jealous, I guess. Because Taylor is prettier and smarter than he is. And definitely has a lot more class.

I don't know if Rosanne Cash's CD 'The List' was even nominated for an award. Seeing as New Country Radio and Country Music Television totally ignored her daddy until after the guy died, I don't reckon Rosanne would have even been considered for recognition for a CD compilation of covers of her pa's favorite country and western songs.

But I like it. Because for one thing, they come from a list by Johnny Cash of the one hundred essential country and western songs and given to his then-eighteen year old daughter as a form of education. So, you know you can't get much more Country than this. And for another thing, if there's one voice I appreciate more than that of John R. Cash, it's his daughter's.

Some of these songs are new to me - 'The Long Black Veil,' 'Miss the Mississippi and You.' Some are obvious selections - 'Sea of Heartbreak,' 'Take These Chains from My Heart,' "Heartaches By the Number,' and Patsy Cline's 'She's Got You.' Hell, Rosanne Cash could put out a whole CD just devoted to Patsy Cline.

Some, like the hauntingly beautiful '500 Miles' are old friends who keep me company in the wee hours of the morning at work. And this is what makes this CD the better record. All of these songs are timeless. In the obvious sense that they'll be sung and listened to for more than the next hundred years. Taylor Swift's songs won't be.

But they're also timeless in the way that you can listen to them any time of the day or night. That's what makes a GREAT song. I can dig Taylor's she-bop classic 'You Belong With Me' at any time - but not before noon and not after one-o'clock in the a.m. It's bright sun-shiney pop and doesn't stand up to scrutiny too well much after dusk.

Not so with the songs on 'The List.' They all meet the Test of Time. They sound just as good on a Saturday morning as they do while you're making supper or later at night when you're trying to get laid - or at three o'clock in the morning when you're alone and in the mood for feeling sorry for yourself.

Local Man Sticks It to Fast-Food Franchise

City resident Jim Swabos pulled a fast one yesterday on his neighbourhood Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise.

While waiting for his order to be filled, he asked the counter-help if plates and utensils were free. Informed that indeed they were, Swabos replied that he could use about 20 paper plates and about 30 plastic knives and forks.

When his meal was bagged, Swabos then instructed the clerk to throw in an additional 13 plates and a handful of those ketchup thingies - "I have some people dropping by for supper," he said. "Say, is there any limit on the number of napkins? My family are real messy eaters."

At home, while Swabos, his wife and six-month-old son sat down to the still-warm '15-Piece Bucket' and small container of potato salad, he explained to the press, "Don't kid yourselves - it's a BIG company, they can spare a few extra paper plates. The Colonel is a frickin' millionaire. Believe me, he ain't gonna miss them. ... Besides, the last time I was in there and ordered a Family Meal, they claimed to be all out of those free toy Simpson figurines. The bastards."

When contacted, KFC duty-manager Shayne Westcott immediately recalled serving Swabos that night. "Oh, yeah. I remember him. He's in here pulling that shit every other Thursday. I was going to call Corporate about it but I had a big math exam the next day and was pretty swamped that night.

"One time he talked the part-time help into giving him 57 packets of pepper."