Overheard at the Press Club

I was knocking back a few after work in the Press Club on Friday when George Clark came in with a big crowd of celebrants from the 85th anniversary party for CFPL-AM Radio.

Apparently it was big doin's that day in the studio with lots of retired or moved-on broadcasters dropping by to sit behind the ol' mike for a while and reminisce.

During Bill Brady's hour, first-time caller/long time listener 'Gladys' finally got through. Brady hosted a morning open-line talk show in the 1970s and was known as 'Mister CFPL Radio.' Gladys was representative of Brady's core demographic of elderly shut-ins. He hasn't been on the air in three decades. But no one told Gladys, who has been waiting all that time for him to pick up the phone. But Brady took it all in stride because her call was indistinguishable from all the others he received so many years ago. ... "Oh, hello is this Mr. Brady? Hello. Hello? Oh, there you are. ... Bill, I'm worried about my cat."

Bill himself told the story about the time he was hosting his annual Bunny Bundle fundraiser in the studio with his partner Howdy Doody and one of the kids in the Peanut Gallery couldn't hold it in any longer and urinated into a potted plant. "I couldn't have told that story back then," Brady chuckled. "Boy, times sure have changed."

Speaking of the ten words you cannot say on the radio - another former morning open-line host Gord ("Hot Talk") Harris told the following story at the Press Club - "It seems that a priest, a rabbi, former phone-in hosts Wayne McLean and Jim Chapman and a duck walk into this lesbian bar. The kangaroo who's tending bar says to them," ... No, on second thought there's certain stories that Shouldn't be repeated. Times haven't changed that much.

Current morning talk-show guy John Wilson and his predecesor George Clark arm-wrestled for the title of 'Mr. Excitement.' After an hour, the match was called as a tie because even though it was live radio, no one called in to cheer them on.

Ann Hutchison and Kate Young reminisced about how Ann took over the afternoon phone-in show in the early 1980s when Kate left for the TV station - and no one could tell the difference.

Former sports guy Gary Alan Price told the story of the time he and Pete (The Godfather) James were in Vegas and ran into Bob McCowan and Jim Rome - and kicked both their asses. And could do it again too if they wanted to.

Current morning man & funny-guy Joe Duchene had an asthma attack in the studio and almost died because everyone just assumed that all the wheezing was Joe laughing at one of his own jokes.

Nationally-heard loudmouth and pontificator Charles Adler came to town to host his own afternoon talk show live from the CFPL-AM studio and join in the celebrations. At one point, former morning man Peter Garland called up. He did his Aunt Flabby imitation - not heard on the radio in decades. But heard just the night before in the Press Club.

Garland then told Adler the story of how Open-Line Radio was invented right there at CFPL back in the early 1960s when morning man John Dickens got a phone call from an irate caller who didn't like the Beatles song he was playing - and so John held the telepone receiver right up to the microphone, let the old coot scream some more about "it's nothing but Yeah, yeah, yeah" and then he responded ON THE AIR!

Unfortunately after Garland's story, Adler inadvertently left the phone off the hook and no other callers were able to get through. No one noticed because Charles was doing one of his never-ending monologues about why the NDP are such gutless weinies who don't support our troops. Callers were finally able to get through after Charles ordered out for pizza and hung up the phone properly.

Congratulations CFPL - that was quite a day. Let's do it all again in about 15 years.

Canadian Loonie Kicks Crap Out of American Dollar.

In business news, the Canadian dollar has reached parity with its American counterpart. At the time of this post, economists report that it is currently even worth just a "smidge" more.

This is big news for Canadian shoppers who will not notice any discernible difference in the prices they pay for American goods. However, it is a a boost to the low self-esteem of most Canadians who can now confidently brag that ours is bigger than theirs.

According to financial analysts, this is a pretty big deal. Bryan Costello, author of "Taking Care of Yooouuuuurrrrr Money," notes that the last time such an economic "whuppin'" took place was November 27, 1976. Also known in the U.S. as 'Brownish-Grey Tuesday.'

Do you remember where YOU were and what you were doing on that historic day over thirty years ago?

I know where I was - it seems just like yesterday.

Protesting outside the G-8 Summit which that year was being held in Banff, Alberta.

The best part was that at the Anti-Capitalist-Dogs' Tent City, the cats selling T-shirts in the souvenir booths were taking Canadian dollars at par.

Have You Accepted Cheeses Into Your Life?

Picked these two Birthday cards up at Hallmark yesterday. It's your one-stop place when shopping for greeting cards featuring dead animals.

And it reminded me of my first job.

True story - just out of high school, I was doing my apprecticeship in taxidermy at Mort's Bait Shop and Taxidermy Gallery. Anyway, one day a woman walks in carrying two shoe boxes containing the stiff bodies of her two pet squirrels. She wants them stuffed.

"Would you like them mounted?" we ask.

After thinking about this a moment she replies, "No. Maybe just holding hands."

Local Radio Station Celebrates 85 Years of Mediocrity

Does anyone out there want to read more about this? Or does the title say it all?

This REALLY Made My Day

Courtesy of fellow blog-man Jim Lileks (www.lileks.com) comes this You Tube link to everyone's fave '50s Pin-Up Girl. The Notorious Bettie Page.

I'll spare myself the headache of once again trying to post a video link here so this is what you do - go to YouTube and type 'Bettie Page/Goodbye Horses' into the 'Search.'

Lileks did a bit of conjecturing today about mop-top Betty's enduring fascination and appeal - all that innocent girl-next-door/little Miss Naughty bondage-queen contradiction ... and then concludes "it might be as simple as this: a cute smile."

And I won't disagree with that - but I suspect that it might be a little more than that. And my groin is seldom mistaken.

Anyhoo - while you are at YouTube browsing in the Bettie section, be sure to also check out 'Bettie Page UP CLOSE Pinup Babe Comes to Life Uh Huh.' It's not as good a soundtrack as the other one best known from 'Clerks 2' and 'Silence of the Lambs' but the dancing is just as 'interesting.'

... and there's also more of that cute smile. UP CLOSE.

Why I Don't Believe In 'Allah' anymore

From yesterday's London Free Press' - in the 'ENTS' section (presumably, that's the A&E section of the paper aimed at the infotainment-consuming demographic of Talking and Walking Trees, as popularized in such films as 'The Wizard of OZ' and 'Bruce the Spruce Gets a Branch-Job.)

... from the Best Bets Tonight column - and I quote -

Television - 'In Dreams' : 8:30 p.m., the 'W' Network;
'In Dreams,' debuting tonight, profiles people who've had vivid and sometimes chilling dreams.

"In this debut episode, a teenager dreams she's forced to be the Devil's bride but is rescued by God, who also happens to be the proprietor of a video store."

... and THAT'S a "Quote." Go to the Library and check it out if you don't believe me. Read the current events on one of those long wooden poles. Save yourself a quarter.

Sorry - no sarcastic comments to add. I mean, what can you possibly say that would be funnier?

Just the same, I welcome your comments.

.... Hey how 'bout that Stand taken by John Tory of his namesake party - the Retro-Conservatives about religious faith-based schooling - 'Why-the-hell-should-I-have-to-pay-for-it? I ain't Hindu' as popularized on local right-wing open-line radio shows (all two of them,) once hosted by current candidate Jim Chapman.

Incidently - I'm still open to the concept of 'Allah' - I guess I'm just too old to believe in that whole bit about the guy in the white-sheet robes with the long white hair and beard who wants to kill me for the occassional swear-word or that bit I got on the side from that waitress 'Debbie' from the 'Big Boy' on the 401.

Allah - take it from me (and Deb,) Honest, I swear to Jesus, it won't happen again.

'Mad Men' Marathon this Sunday!

Can life get any better than this? A '90210' Marathon all day on TV Tropicana (channel 57) Monday and tomorrow a screening of the first seven episodes of my current fave show, 'Mad Men' on AMC - that's channel 55 on your television dial.

I ask you - is there a more perfect way to mark the end of summer than spending the day indoors watching television?

Now, I know for a fact that most regular readers of this blog once had more than a healthy relationship with 'Beverly Hills 90210' but I suppose there is a chance that not everyone has seen 'Mad Men' - what with it being a U.S. cable 'original' series. You can tell that it's AMC's (American Movie Classics) 'prestige' show because they promote the hell out of it. If you've tuned into any movie on AMC in the past two months you'll know what a mean. It's like they're trying to sell cigarettes or something.

Sonny was so impressed with the show, that he did something he rarely does as the Pop Culture columnist for 'Artscape Magazine' - he wrote about something that is not only from this decade - but from this YEAR.

Ain't picked the new 'ish up yet, have you?
Well, in that case - allow me to enlighten you - because I would hate for you to miss all the fun of tomorrow's marathon screening without being properly prepared ...

... Occassionally people will accuse me of living in the past. They say that I don't know of any cultural event post-'The Andy Griffith Show.' That when it comes to Pop Culture, I am Yesterday's Man.

Well, pooh on them.

Because I do keep current on what's hip, what's happening, what's cutting-edge and NOW in the world of television. Case in point - here's a review of 'Mad Men,' the most talked-about new show of recent weeks.

By mere coincidence, it just happens to be set in 1960 - my favorite year. And in Manhattan at the height of all its post-war glory. And in a Madison Avenue advertising agency where they are in the business of promoting The Great American Dream and a future soon to be promised by J.F.K. and 'The Jetsons.' Man, I love that kind of stuff.

In fact, much of the show's appeal is in its obsessive attention to period detail. From the matching Arne Jacobsen chairs in the board room to the Russell Wright dinnerware on the suburban kitchen tables to those huge bronze monstrous sculptures that people hung on the wall behind the couch back then - it's all there. In fact, in one episode I saw the same floor lamp that is now standing in the living room of my own space-age bachelor pad. The show is s delight for lovers of interior design and the retro mid-century modern look. I get aroused just thinking about it.

Although the real stars of the show are the set design people, there are also actors and a plot with characters and an on-going story arc to keep you thinking while admiring all that gorgeous eye-candy.

A typical episode will revolve around the office politics going on behind the scenes at the Stirling-Cooper Agency. Don Draper, played by Jon Hamm, is the creative-director. Everyone below him wants his job. As one character notes - career success is all about knowing whose ass to kiss and when to start kicking it.

Draper himself is a bit of a mystery man. Seemingly a man with no past. Every other episode drops a clue or two that he's not the man he claims to be. It's all very Gatsby-like and I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out he once killed a man. As one character says, "Draper? Who knows anything about that guy - he could be Batman for all we know." It all makes for the perfect metaphor for this kind of show. Draper has re-invented and packaged himself as a person just as he does with the myths he creates to sell soap and tobacco.

But even if ends up being true that Draper once killed a man, in the superficial world of big-league advertising and the con-men who work there, the only thing worse for his career would be if his colleagues found out that he actually had a brain, or talent - or heaven forbid, a Soul. Or if he was a former Ivy League socialist. Or a 'serious' writer. As Draper himself puts it, "Sterling-Cooper has more failed artists and intellectuals than the Third Reich."

No doubt about it, the man has a way with words and is a REAL writer. He's clever and witty and has a poet's economy of words. He just happens to work in the medium of combining visual images with smart concise copy. His work gets published in the full-page ads of Life magazine and on billboards instead of by Scribners or The New Yorker. And is enjoyed by more people.

His ad campaign for Gillette's new revolutionary product - the first spray-on deodorant for men - was aimed at the wives who were the actual purchasers of all such household hygiene supples. "What do women want?" he asked. "Any excuse to get closer." Now, I don't care what anyone says, that's brilliant.

Equally interesting as the set and wardrobe design is the way the producers capture the era's attitudes - particularly when it comes to smoking, recreational and on-the-job drinking and women.

Women of that world had two career choices - wife or secretary. For both, their priority was to tend to their bosses' every need. There's more than a nod to 'The Stepford Wives' in any episode of 'Mad Men.'

They weren't taken seriously, as you can see from this joke one Madison Ave. man tells at a suburban cocktail party - "Your wife and your lawyer are both drowning. You have a choice to make - do you go to lunch or a movie?"

'Mad Men' is created and produced by Matthew Weiner, a writer/producer from 'The Sopranos.' When 'Mad Men' eventually concludes, I don't expect it to suddenly fade to black and a scrambled TV-signal while some song by Journey is played.

I'm predicting they'll go out with something by Bobby Darin.