I Felt the Earth Move

According to reliable sources, we had an earthquake here in Southern Ontario this past Wednesday - as documented in the photo above. At the time, I remember lying in bed with Mavis - when all of a sudden the bed started shaking. And apparently, about half an hour later there was an earthquake.

HAH!

I love that joke. I use it every time there's an earthquake up here. Which isn't often. I think this was about the first in over thirty years. But whenever there's one in California, presented with the right opportunity to slip that story into conversation, I don't mind bringing it out. After all, it's the only earthquake joke I know. Some people don't even know that many.

It's the perfect joke because it works on two levels. For the intelligensia, it's very dry and subtle. The sort of thing you might have read in the New Yorker a few decades ago. For the rest of us, it's a cute little sex joke. So inoffensive you can tell in mixed company. And so subtle that you can even say it in front of children because it'll go right over their heads.

The problem is that it's maybe a little *too* subtle. That's why it often also goes right over the heads of dumb people. When that happens, and I don't get any reaction after the carefully built-up punchline, I retell it. "Yeah, there we were in bed and the bed started shaking and the headboard was banging against the wall - and apparently half an hour later an earthquake struck." And then I start braying like a jackass.

I don't really like to be someone who laughs too hard at their own jokes, but with some people there's no choice. It's just too good a joke not to share.

Anatomy of a Dirty Joke

Question - What did one potato chip say to the other potato chip?
Answer - "Free to lay?"

Free to lay. ... "Frito-Lay!" Get it? The potato-chip company?

Anyway, that's the only potato-chip joke I know. Some people don't even know that many. I still remember the afternoon in Grade 9 math class when Alan Tidey told it to our group and did it with that dry deadpan delivery of his. The man could have been on the Carson show.

And its stuck with me all these years. I like to save it for special occassions. Life doesn't offer too many opportunities to slip a good potato-chip joke into the conversation, so it's fresh every time.

It's one of those jokes that can be appreciated on a number of levels. For the intelligensia, it's a good example of a 'pun' - a clever play-on-words. For the rest of us, its a cute little sex joke. So harmless it could be on a greeting-card. So inoffensive it can even be told in mixed company.

Then there's the appeal it has for those with the potato-chip fetish. I don't really know what goes through the minds of such people. Oh, sure I can imagine how it might be kind of fun to roll around naked on a bed full of potato chips and then lick the crumbled pieces off each others' bodies. Maybe even introduce a French-Onion dip into the proceedings. But as to whether or not they have a sense of humour and would enjoy a good potato-chip joke, well who knows?

ANDY KIM - Making it Happen Again - Part 1

... Part 2 - The Concert, is the post below this one.

Legend has it that immediately after recording the final take of 'Sugar Sugar,' on the first 'Archies' LP in 1969, everyone in the studio burst into uncontrollable joy and laughter.

Contary to popular belief, these musicians weren't the real comic-book characters but were in fact, seasoned studio-session players and singers. As professional musicians-for-hire, 'Sugar Sugar,' was undoubtably the most FUN they had ever had in a recording studio.

Who can blame them? It's arguably the goofiest AND best pop song ever written. Co-written by Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, Jeff Barry and a very young Canadian named Andy Kim, it was the Number One song of the 1969 and named Song of the Year by Billboard. Kim also sang back-up on that original recording. Ron Dante did the lead vocals. The same year, Dante had another Top 10 hit as lead singer of The Cufflinks with 'Tracey' - and the next year became editor of the high-falutin' and respected literary mag The Paris Review. Not sure if Andy Kim was supposed to be 'Reggie' or 'Jughead' on the Archies recordings.

Kim was scheduled to be in town to kick off his Canadian tour last week. More on that in the post below. As a fan of Bubblegum music, I was looking forward to it just for the opportunity to bask in the presence of Greatness.

But as a fan of Pop music, you couldn't keep me away. During the 1970s, Kim had a number of hits. Two of his most popular were covers of songs originally written by his friend and mentor Jeff Barry and Barry's songwriting partner Ellie Greenwich for Phil Spector's girl groups. Kim's versions of 'Be My Baby' and 'Baby I Love You' stood out from the normal radio-fare because of Kim's smooth-as-butter vocals and the Spector-like wall-of-sound and female back-up singers provided by producer Barry.

As a teenager, Kim left his home of Montreal and tackled the Brill Building in New York armed with a number of his compositions - one of them being his first hit, 'How'd We Ever Get this Way.' His mentor, Barry - had also produced Neil Diamonds's first few hits.

Post 'Sugar Sugar,' Kim had a number of hits written by himself or with Barry. Interestingly, the word 'baby,' turns up in a number of the titles. In addition to the two mentioned above, there's also 'Shoot 'Em Up, Baby,' 'Baby, You're All I Got,' 'Fire, Baby I'm on Fire,' and probably more.

But his biggest hit was his self-penned and self-financed (making him a true 'indie' DIY-artist,) with 'Rock Me Gently' from 1974. It was his second number one hit. Just like 'Sugar Sugar,' all his hits are AM-radio slices of three-minute magic. Timeless. They will be here forever. 'Sugar Sugar' - a song which young people of a certain era might have been embarrassed to admit liking, has been covered by such respected roots R&Bers as Wilson Pickett, Bob Marley, Tom Jones and Homer Simpson. As Andy brags during his stage-patter intro to the song, "How many song-writers can claim to have one of their compositions covered by Homer Simpson?"

And typical of the recording industry, after the alloted five-year run, he was forgotten. He reinvented himself as 'Baron Longfellow' during the 1980s but until recently, that was the last we heard of Andy Kim.

This spring he released his first full-length album in many years - 'Happen Again.'

Just like what happened down in the States with the likes of Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn and Neil Diamond, up here in his native land, he has been embraced by 'the kids' - and his collaborations with people like Barenaked Lady Ed Robertston, Ron Sexsmith and Broken Social Scene - all musicians who are no strangers to the art of penning a good lyric, chorus and catchy melody.

If you are a fan of the old Andy Kim, the new CD, 'Happen Again,' is just what you want. A Pop-tunesmith at the top of his craft. The Brill Building would be proud.

ANDY KIM - the Road Trip

Be My Baby because Baby, I Love You. Even though you Rock Me Gently and We're So Good Together, well - How'd We Ever Get This Way? 'Cause despite the fact that I Been Moved, I Ain't Takin' No Rainbow Ride - regardless of being On Fire, Baby I'm on Fire. Might as well Shoot 'Em Up Baby.

Saw Andy Kim on the weekend. He was supposed to be at the London Music Club last Wednesday. The opening date of his Canadian tour. I even took the night off work for the chance to see this Canadian AM-radio hitmaster of the 1970s live. Then, six days before the big day came word that his London show had been cancelled - due to "unforeseen production problems," as the on-line ticket-seller said.

This being London, I just assumed that meant poor advance ticket sales. Which wouldn't be a surprise. Sadly, we live in probably the most un-hip city in Canada. And thus, the world. And when our local paper doesn't even mention his upcoming concert when doing their occassional list of upcoming concerts for the next couple of months, I wasn't surprised at the news. How can people buy tickets for a show they don't know about?

Well, shame on me for being so dang cynical. Turns out the cancellation had nothing to do with ticket sales but because when the London Music Club was booked, no one told the club that they were planning on a big show with an eight-piece band. The London Music Club is a great venue - and even though Carole Pope played their Big Room a couple of months ago, maybe it wasn't the most appropriate venue for the kind of show Andy & company wanted to put on.

But when I heard the cat was touring with an eight-piece band, that only multiplied my disappointment. I was intrigued. And pissed off at what I was missing. So I looked into where else he was playing around here. Mind you, I would have been just as happy seeing him at the London Music Club even if it meant he only showed up with an acoustic guitar and maybe someone with a set of bongos.

Well, turns out he was in Hamilton the next night - where he would be joined by Ron Sexsmith on stage. The next night, a Friday, he was booked into the Starlight Social Club in Waterloo - a nightclub which books the same acts as Call the Office, the London Music Club and the Aeolian Hall. It specializes in 'indie' music, the kind the young people like to listen to on their college-radio stations. Andy has played there four times in the last year or so.

But I figured there would be people drinking and smoking there. And you all know my policy on that. Wanting to be able to actually remember my first Andy Kim concert, I settled on the next one - in Belleville, Ontario, up Kingston way. It was at the Empire Theatre, a lovingly restored abandoned motion-picture theatre from the 1920s. It seated 700, and although Andy's show wasn't a sell-out it was close to it. It's also the place where the likes of Blue Rodeo, Tragically Hip and Alice Cooper play when an hour away from Kingston.

And it's easy to understand why - great sound, a big stage and all the bells and whistles that come with putting on a good live show. ... and it made me think - maybe London DOES need a 'Performing Arts Centre' that would have seating for 700 people after all.

So Mavis and I took that four-hour drive up the 401 on Saturday. Which of course meant staying overnight. This is the most money I've ever spent on a concert which, originally I could have been able to walk to and then stop and get a hot sausage at 'Lighthouse Dogs' located near Joe Kools and Richmond near Victoria Park afterwards on the way home. Incidently, I can highly recommend their baked beans.

I won't go on and on about the concert. Let's just say that it was everything I hoped it would be - and more. His band consisted of a very young group of kids - chick rhythm section on bass and drums; two young female back-up singers ('Veronica' and 'Betty'?) and young hot-shot lead guitar player and keyboard guy. And this guy of 'our' vintage, Derek, who was obviously the bandleader/arranger and also the hardest-working man on stage. Andy, himself was all effortless cool and charm and friendly. The perfect host for a love-in of adoring fans.

After the intermission, there was a brief interview section hosted by the local radio DJ. Before the music began again, they opened the microphone for three questions from the audience. The first was a good one. Why the name change from 'Andy Kim' to 'Baron Longfellow' in the '80s. But the next was from a woman of my generation - "This is a serious question - can I get a kiss from Andy Kim?" ... needless to say, she got it. But when the light-bulb immediately went off in my head and I thrust my hand up to get my 'question' addressed, there was suddenly no more time for questions. Probably just as well. He probably wouldn't have kissed me anyway. Plus, Mavis was with me and would have been jealous.

It was a fantastic show - and the good news is - according to Andy's Facebook page as of early last week - "The shows in London and Montreal have been rescheduled for a later date. All other shows are going on!"

Can't wait. And I know I'll see you all there.