Rating the Family Day Television Specials

Paul Reubens stars as both Premier Dalton McGuinty (above) and The Dalton Pixie (below) in 'Miracle at Queens Park.'

One of the joys of Family Day is the anticipation created by the many festive television specials aired in the days leading up to the third Monday of February.

Admittedly, it's no easy task to rate them. The truth is, I love them all. Of course I have a few personal favorites - like the classics 'A Charlie Brown Family Day' and 'Rudolph and the Island of Misfit Teens.' These are 'quest' stories - tales about one's search for the *real* meaning of Family Day in this modern mechanized ethos.

I'm just as big a sucker for the schmaltzy fare such as the Depression-era 'Family Day on Walton's Mountain' in which all Jim-Bob wants for Family Day is a gift certificate to take the whole clan to The Mandarin for the buffet. Essentially it's a remake of 'Family Day on the Ponderosa' but who cares?

I even enjoy the episodic television knock-offs like 'The Year Family Day Almost Didn't Happen' in which the girls from 'Friends' get locked out of their apartment on Family Day Eve. And I still always get a lump in my throat for the animated 'No Family Day for Family Guy' - even though it's "not suitable for children."

However, critics universally agree that the most historically-significant show is 'Miracle at Queens Park' because it is an 'origin' story which melds fable with fact. Paul Reubens stars as Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty who bribes the electorate by promising a new statutory holiday in February - but ONLY if he is re-elected.

Reubens is also cast in the dual role of the 'Dalton Pixie' - a mythical and magical creature who sneaks into homes all over the province while everyone is asleep and picks the pockets of grown-ups and leaves a present for all the good little boys and girls.

But that Dalton Pixie is a mischievous imp. He only brings hot air and empty promises for those above voting age. And for the kiddies, only useless gifts - such as canned mushrooms (and not even whole or sliced, but the ones with the appetizing label 'Pieces & Stems'), jars of pickled beets and dented cans of Campbells Bean and Bacon soup. All are things no kid would ever eat and so the parents have to order out for pizza.

By the end of the 'Miracle at Queens Park', the Dalton Pixie learns the true meaning of the holiday - that is, if only we could keep the *spirit* of Family Day alive year-round. Just think - a world in which families sat down to eat supper together *every* night, talk about their day and then bask in the glow of Mr. Television, content and happy in each others' company.

I can imagine such a world. In fact, I have a feeling that this is going to be the BEST Family Day ever!