My Stupid, Stupid, Stupid Parents! Yech!

Dear Blog Diary - and all my cool friends from school and elsewhere out there in blog-land. Well, it's happened Mother & Father have discovered my blog after seeing some stupid report on them on CNN by that Anderson Cooper dweeb. You know, the reporter who thinks he's so cool because he looks slightly like Fox Mulder and likes to make every news report about him. "Uh, here I am in Florida where the damage from the hurricane Katarina is still on the ground. My shoes are getting soaked and I haven't had time to shave in two days. And I look like Fox Mulder. I'm sooo cool." .... Well, anyway, the big jerk did a report on the "epidemic" sweeping middle-class America of teenagers with their own blogs "These on-line diaries of the sex, drugs and rock n' roll lives that would shock their parents!" And thanks to Anderson my parents have discovered my blog and have now banned me from the computer until after I graduate from college. And gave me a curfew. And oh, yeah - I can't ever see Jimmy any more and only talk to Jenny on the phone. Hey, way to go Anderson, you just blew it with the only generation that actually thought you were even remotely cool! ....... So now my parents think that I'm like something out of a Girls Gone Wild on Spring Break video. They like, invade my privacy by reading my blog - hey, it was on the internet only for my friends, Mom and Dad - not youse guys! And they read about me and Jenny going down to Fort Lauderdale for spring break and they pick up a few key phrases and think they know what they mean because that's how all their friends talked in college. So they read about "getting baked" and getting "pie-eyed" and "being totally shit-faced." And they just assume we were doing whatever they did on their spring breaks like back in the Middle Ages when the other guy named George Bush was President. Hey Mom & Dad if you ever watched something other than MuchMoreMusic or paid any attention to your own kid you might know about the real latest fad that's replaced bling-bling. It's something you couldn't relate to for F***k's sake, but I've heard Grandpa talk about them back in his old hometown in Idaho. They're called PIE-EATING CONTESTS!!! And so just because of a few indiscreet blue-berry pies that I never told my parents about (well, who the hell would brag about something like that?) now we all have to go to weekly family counselling sessions until I get over my 'blog' problem. At least Gramps was cool about it - "Just another example of the Establishment always hassling us kids," he said. Stupid, stupid, stupid parents. I can hardly wait until I'm old enough to move out of this Gwengontanamo prison.