This Time It's Personal

Have you heard the latest? The Liberals are going to parachute Justin Trudeau into London North-Centre to run in the upcoming federal by-election.

It's a desperation move of course. His dad was cremated, otherwise they'd be bringing in the corpse of Pierre Eliot Trudeau in an attempt to prevent former London mayor Dianne Haskett from winning that former Liberal seat for the ruling Conservative Party.

This town has been all a-twitter at the surprise news this week that Haskett has returned from her self-imposed six-year exodus in the wilderness of Washington D.C. to take over that federal member of Parliament seat vacated by soon-to-be former politician Joe Fontana who left his job only a few months into it because he mistakingly believed he was such an obvious shoo-in for Mayor.

Haskett, who took an early leave of her own duties as Mayor six years ago to move to Washington because her husband found a job there, is now back in London wanting to represent us at the federal level. Her husband is supportive of the move. Apparently, as a graphic artist, he can work anywhere.

But even though she claims that it is her "heart's desire," to return to London and work for the Conservative Party, she's making no committments to stay should she not get the nomination to run. And if she loses the election, you know she's back in Washington - where, she gushed on the radio the other day, she and her husband have a real cool apartment in a trendy downtown neighbourhood where they have lots of friends and friends of people in high places.

Naw, if things don't work out, she ain't sticking around this hick town. And who can blame her. But we can blame her for this blatant political opportunism being passed off as a sentimental homecoming. "Hearts desire," my ass! C'mon, if a by-election seat opened up in Chatham and she had more than 10 friends there, she'd be running in that riding. But even though Fontana didn't live in London either - at least he lived in Arva. At least he's lived IN THIS COUNTRY for the past six years.

It's interesting that in all her interviews, the reason for her return at this time is because she wants to do what she can to help Prime Minister Harper keep the Conservative government going. Note the lack of rhetoric about how she wants to help London and Londoners and those in the London North-Centre riding.

I guess we should be grateful she isn't promising to "put London on the map." She already accomplished that when she was Mayor and made this town a national laughing-stock by refusing to proclaim a Gay Pride Day due to her fundamentalist Christian beliefs. In a radio interview this week, she promised not to go down that road if elected. In any free vote about gay marriage (which is already a done deal and not likely to be dragged up again,) she said she would listen to her constituents and then vote with her conscience. Meaning that she would vote against it and also argue that all gay marriages currently on the books be rescinded - or at least make sure that all the wedding gifts are returned. Such will read the headlines in a world where Diane Haskett has a voice on the national stage. We can only hope that she doesn't embarrass us further the way her fellow fundamentalist Christian and former M.P. Jack Burqhardt did years ago in the House of Parliament by calling for an end to Satanic messages in heavy metal music.

But I'll say this for her, in the midst of a pretty good munipal election, she has stolen all the headlines - and for another election that hasn't yet even been called, no less.

The very day after her announcement, there on the front page of the London Free Press (Thursday, Oct. 19, for anyone paying attention,) along side a pic of a beaming Haskett, is a photo of Megan Walker, Haskett's arch-enemy from the days when Haskett was Mayor and Walker was her biggest adversary on city council. What a photo! I tell you, the woman looks like she's ready to spit tacks. You can almost read her thoughts - "How dare she, how dare she return to this town and want to help that nasty Steven Harper and his evil Conservatives!"

So yesterday comes the official news that Me-agin herself is running against Haskett in this soon-to-be announced election. She had no plans to run prior to Haskett's announcement. Or in any election. She had retired from politics after Haskett left town. Which kind of says everything you need to know. She says she's back in the game because she doesn't want Canada to become like the United States - you know, the sort of world where people like Steven Harper and George Bush and former London mayors who now live in Washington can push their moral agenda.

She sure ain't running because she thinks she has a chance of winning. Typically Megan, she has aligned herself with those perennial losers, the New Democratic Party and their leader (a true national embarrassment,) Jack Layton. (Hey Jack, tell us again how we can best help the people in Afghanistan by getting our troops out of there so the women and children of the country can sit down and negotiate with the Taliban.)

No, the only reason Walker is running is because of who her opponent is. She wants to save us from Diane Haskett - which is odd because initially it looked like Haskett was the one with the 'Saviour' complex.

I remember years ago when both women were on City Council. Walker was opposed to some initiative Haskett had put forward. Don't matter what it was - could have been sewer taxes, could have been the Gay Pride thing - the woman rejected anything initiated by Haskett out of spite or instinct alone. And she was on the TV news claiming that "This isn't about Diane Haskett ..." And she was right. It was all about Megan Walker.

As Don Michael Corleone said in 'The Godfather,' before sending Abe Vigoda to sleep with the fishes - "It's ALL personal." The fact that Walker jumped into this election race ONLY after Haskett delared her intentions says it all. It's just a chance to badmouth Haskett on a public stage. Talk about your political opportunists.

In Biblical terms that Haskett might understand, Megan is like one of those Harpies from the Old Testament that followed that Odysseus guy around and plagued him on his journeys in the book of Exodus.