My Stupid Stupid Parents - Again
Dear Blog diary,
And a big shout-out to all you readers and bloggers out there in Blog-land. We rule!
Or did.
Alas, dear readers, this may very well be my last blog entry for a while. Just because some asshole in Montreal shot a buncha people yesterday at school, my old man is threatening to stop me from blogging any more and only lettin me use the computer for homework. And my Moms' like all "Honey, are you okay? Are you sure there isn't something you want to talk about? Are you really sure you're okay?"
Geez, just cuz I broke up with Ramon and he started going out with my best friend Ray-Anne, it's not like I'm gonna go out and start shooting up the cafeteria at school or anything. God knows there's been days that I've thought about it tho. But who hasn't, you know?
Actually, forget I even wrote that last paragraph because that's just the sort of thing that's going to convince Pops to pull the plug on my blogging life. Or as Anderson Cooper called it last night from Montreal - "Blogs are the Rock and Roll on-line diaries of middle-class kids and the fantasies that they don't want their parents to know about!"
Thanks again, Anderson. You know I used to think that guy was so cool back in the day when I actually believed that a resemblance to David Duchovny was sexy. My old man actually watches Anderson every night but even worse is that he listens to the small-town 'Andersons' who do open-line radio shows right here in Hicksville, Ontario. And that's why I'm gonna be banned from blogging probably by Friday night.
I'm sittin' in the kitchen this morning, groovin' on some poached eggs that Moms whipped up and readin' 'Funky Winterbean' in the Funnies and my old man starts turning about twenty shades of purple listening to this Andy Noodleman guy who hosts a talk show on the radio. So - just because this guy in Montreal shot up a buncha people, Andy seems to be most upset that the guy was a blogger. And that anyone with a bit o' sense coulda predicted what was going to happen because the nutjob posted comments like "Work sucks. School sucks. Life sucks." Well, Fuk me dead Lois, but that's not exactly an original thought. What self-respecting kid never had those feelings? I bet even kids who have never even read Catcher in the Rye have occassionally even made the same observations.
And all the time that Andy is ranting that we have to "police the bloggers so this kind of tragedy doesn't happen again!" my old man is going "Yeah, yeah that's right." And while he's holding the phone in one hand trying to get thru to Andy, he looks over at me and says, "And another thing Missy, I want to have a look at that MySpace blog of yours before you leave for school!" I swear to God, it's true!
But he can't get thru to Andy so he turns the radio dial to the other AM-radio open-line show and there's another knee-jerk over-reacting alarmist named Yawn Wilson railing on about the need to "start monitoring the blogs and maybe even pay these people a visit."
God knows what's gonna happen this afternoon when the current Number 1 Talk Radio wing-nut, Charles Addled gets on the air and starts screaming and yelling about "the Blog culture.' Ya know tho, it would be kinda cool tho if someone called up and pointed out to him that he too, is a blogger. Maybe the guy that writes it for him should mention that to him before he goes on the air.
Too bad the ol' man will be at work when that happens. You know, what happened in Montreal is just awful. But it happened not because he was a blogger. Or because no one paid any attention to his suicidal "cries for help." It happened because he was just a fukked-up loser (whiskey with eggs and toast for breakfast? Gimme a break, everyone knows that's a beer breakfast beverage) who hated everything because he got tired of being picked on at school and so he struck back.
Personally, I think the parents have to share a LOT of the blame. Where are they when the kid is doing shots for breakfast? Where are they when he's out registering his automatic weapons? And ya know, you stick a kid with a first name like "Kimveer," you can pretty well imagine what things are going to be like for him at school. Well duh, ya think?
But I've seen Rebel Without A Cause and Pretty in Pink enough times to know that misfits have always been getting pushed around and made fun of by the jocks and cool kids at school. It's been going on ever since attendence figures were taken for the first time in the first home-room ever. But after yesterday, maybe for some of those people it may have finally sunk in that pay-back has become a trend.
Next time you see that weird girl in the cafeteria with the crimson red-dyed hair, dressed all in pink with black lipstick and nail-polish, do me a favor, don't shoot any sarcastic put-downs over in my direction. Don't come over and try to be my friend and get me to join the 'Scrapbooking Club.' And don't feel pity on me just because my Dad is about to shut down my only artistic outlet by pulling the plug on my blog. Just continue to do what you normally do. Just ignore me. I'll be alright.
Gawd, I can hardly wait till I'm old enough to get out of this Gwengontonamo prison.
And a big shout-out to all you readers and bloggers out there in Blog-land. We rule!
Or did.
Alas, dear readers, this may very well be my last blog entry for a while. Just because some asshole in Montreal shot a buncha people yesterday at school, my old man is threatening to stop me from blogging any more and only lettin me use the computer for homework. And my Moms' like all "Honey, are you okay? Are you sure there isn't something you want to talk about? Are you really sure you're okay?"
Geez, just cuz I broke up with Ramon and he started going out with my best friend Ray-Anne, it's not like I'm gonna go out and start shooting up the cafeteria at school or anything. God knows there's been days that I've thought about it tho. But who hasn't, you know?
Actually, forget I even wrote that last paragraph because that's just the sort of thing that's going to convince Pops to pull the plug on my blogging life. Or as Anderson Cooper called it last night from Montreal - "Blogs are the Rock and Roll on-line diaries of middle-class kids and the fantasies that they don't want their parents to know about!"
Thanks again, Anderson. You know I used to think that guy was so cool back in the day when I actually believed that a resemblance to David Duchovny was sexy. My old man actually watches Anderson every night but even worse is that he listens to the small-town 'Andersons' who do open-line radio shows right here in Hicksville, Ontario. And that's why I'm gonna be banned from blogging probably by Friday night.
I'm sittin' in the kitchen this morning, groovin' on some poached eggs that Moms whipped up and readin' 'Funky Winterbean' in the Funnies and my old man starts turning about twenty shades of purple listening to this Andy Noodleman guy who hosts a talk show on the radio. So - just because this guy in Montreal shot up a buncha people, Andy seems to be most upset that the guy was a blogger. And that anyone with a bit o' sense coulda predicted what was going to happen because the nutjob posted comments like "Work sucks. School sucks. Life sucks." Well, Fuk me dead Lois, but that's not exactly an original thought. What self-respecting kid never had those feelings? I bet even kids who have never even read Catcher in the Rye have occassionally even made the same observations.
And all the time that Andy is ranting that we have to "police the bloggers so this kind of tragedy doesn't happen again!" my old man is going "Yeah, yeah that's right." And while he's holding the phone in one hand trying to get thru to Andy, he looks over at me and says, "And another thing Missy, I want to have a look at that MySpace blog of yours before you leave for school!" I swear to God, it's true!
But he can't get thru to Andy so he turns the radio dial to the other AM-radio open-line show and there's another knee-jerk over-reacting alarmist named Yawn Wilson railing on about the need to "start monitoring the blogs and maybe even pay these people a visit."
God knows what's gonna happen this afternoon when the current Number 1 Talk Radio wing-nut, Charles Addled gets on the air and starts screaming and yelling about "the Blog culture.' Ya know tho, it would be kinda cool tho if someone called up and pointed out to him that he too, is a blogger. Maybe the guy that writes it for him should mention that to him before he goes on the air.
Too bad the ol' man will be at work when that happens. You know, what happened in Montreal is just awful. But it happened not because he was a blogger. Or because no one paid any attention to his suicidal "cries for help." It happened because he was just a fukked-up loser (whiskey with eggs and toast for breakfast? Gimme a break, everyone knows that's a beer breakfast beverage) who hated everything because he got tired of being picked on at school and so he struck back.
Personally, I think the parents have to share a LOT of the blame. Where are they when the kid is doing shots for breakfast? Where are they when he's out registering his automatic weapons? And ya know, you stick a kid with a first name like "Kimveer," you can pretty well imagine what things are going to be like for him at school. Well duh, ya think?
But I've seen Rebel Without A Cause and Pretty in Pink enough times to know that misfits have always been getting pushed around and made fun of by the jocks and cool kids at school. It's been going on ever since attendence figures were taken for the first time in the first home-room ever. But after yesterday, maybe for some of those people it may have finally sunk in that pay-back has become a trend.
Next time you see that weird girl in the cafeteria with the crimson red-dyed hair, dressed all in pink with black lipstick and nail-polish, do me a favor, don't shoot any sarcastic put-downs over in my direction. Don't come over and try to be my friend and get me to join the 'Scrapbooking Club.' And don't feel pity on me just because my Dad is about to shut down my only artistic outlet by pulling the plug on my blog. Just continue to do what you normally do. Just ignore me. I'll be alright.
Gawd, I can hardly wait till I'm old enough to get out of this Gwengontonamo prison.
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 9:29 AM
5 Comments:
Geez, it's kinda sad and pathetic when you have to post a comment to your own post.
But four days and no comments?
Geez Louise, didn't any of you learn anything from that last post? Or from the Montrealer's blog?
This latest entry isn't some parody or commentary - it's an official 'Cry for Help' my friends. This is where you are supposed to phone up and say, "Sonny - are you alright? Please, let me buy you a beer. No, seriously, all the beer you want. And I'll bring the smokes."
Sonny, the most recent story was up and then disappeared for several days. Don't play games with our minds. You know as well as I do that Honey Pot is damn close to the edge as it is.
Butch - has Betty got the parental control lock on your internet again? This post has been up since Thursday.
Yes, I have - but the post has been up and intact every day since I've posted it. I've checked. Maybe my computer is haunted.
There's one way to solve this riddle. Toss yourself into the "Wayback Machine" and see if you still want to bone Iren Ryan and Ellie May five ways to Sunday.
Post a Comment
<< Home