Sonny D. Answers 20 Questions
What with all the cutbacks and lay-offs at the London Free Press, I figure they could probably use some copy. So I'm sending them my own '20 Questions' list. Besides, I'm tired of waiting to be asked. Here's a sneak peak.
1. What was your first job?
Forest ranger. Two hundred miles north of Wawa. During my 'Back to Nature' period. Mostly, we set the woods afire for 'controlled burns.'
2. Have you ever been in jail?
Surprisingly not. It's pretty common knowledge that I once killed a man with my bare hands over a gambling debt in Monacco.
3, Do you belong to any clubs or social organizations?
I've had my own library card for years.
4. What was the last movie you watched?
I recently accidently rented that home-made sex tape of Dustin Diamond who played 'Screech' on Saved By the Bell in a threesome with two chicks.
5. What is your greatest fear?
Accidently renting Dustin Diamond's other sex tape. The one with the threesome of him, 'Urkel,' and that guy who played 'Horshak' on Welcome Back Kotter.
6. Have you ever had to pay a late fee on a video or library book?
Just on that sex-tape with Screech.
7. What was the last book you read?
Does 'Archie's Digest' count?
8. What would you like the epitath on your gravestone to read?
"I heard the Greyhound call my name."
9. What keeps you awake at night?
Wondering why the letter 'W' is pronounced "double-u," when on the printed page, it is clearly a double-'v.' Why isn't it pronounced "double-vee." What's up with that anyway? And what's the deal with peanuts on airplanes? They call that a meal? Half of them aren't even salted.
10. What historical figure or person from the past would you most like to have dinner with?
My dog's parents.
11. What TV show do you never miss?
Deadwood, the HBO cuss-alot cowboy series on Monday nights. And then to purify myself, reruns of The Wonder Years on weekdays.
12. Who would you pick to play you in a movie of your life?
The two Davids - David Cassidy for Sonny Drysdale: The Early Years. And David Crosby for Sonny: The Middle-aged Years.
13. What disc is on your CD player right now?
The Partridge Family. Duh.
14. Describe your perfect day?
Spending the morning in bed with my naked wife. After that, who cares?
15. What do you wear to work?
I work the night shift in a group home. So I show up in my pajamas.
16. What was the last play you attended?
Brokeback Mountin': The Broadway Musical.
17. What is your idea of a fun night out on the town?
Setting the alarm for midnight. Get up, poach an egg and then catch a cab to Call the Office to see '63 Monroe and hope they hit the stage sometime before dawn.
18. When and where was your last vacation?
The Jet Set Motel outside Ingersoll near the 401 a couple of Valentines Days ago. Caught a glimpse of the ghost of Jackie O.
19. Will you vote in the coming municipal election?
Voting for Robert Vaughn, the Man from U.N.C.L.E. for councillor for Ward 12; voting for anyone but incumbents on Board of Control. And I always vote the Daddy Ivan Warbucks ticket for Mayor. If Mel Lastman can do the job, so can Ivan. And he can't be any worse than the two front runners in the campaign.
20. What is your biggest regret?
Got real loaded a couple of New Years Eve's ago and woke up married to Britney Spears. Didn't work out.
1. What was your first job?
Forest ranger. Two hundred miles north of Wawa. During my 'Back to Nature' period. Mostly, we set the woods afire for 'controlled burns.'
2. Have you ever been in jail?
Surprisingly not. It's pretty common knowledge that I once killed a man with my bare hands over a gambling debt in Monacco.
3, Do you belong to any clubs or social organizations?
I've had my own library card for years.
4. What was the last movie you watched?
I recently accidently rented that home-made sex tape of Dustin Diamond who played 'Screech' on Saved By the Bell in a threesome with two chicks.
5. What is your greatest fear?
Accidently renting Dustin Diamond's other sex tape. The one with the threesome of him, 'Urkel,' and that guy who played 'Horshak' on Welcome Back Kotter.
6. Have you ever had to pay a late fee on a video or library book?
Just on that sex-tape with Screech.
7. What was the last book you read?
Does 'Archie's Digest' count?
8. What would you like the epitath on your gravestone to read?
"I heard the Greyhound call my name."
9. What keeps you awake at night?
Wondering why the letter 'W' is pronounced "double-u," when on the printed page, it is clearly a double-'v.' Why isn't it pronounced "double-vee." What's up with that anyway? And what's the deal with peanuts on airplanes? They call that a meal? Half of them aren't even salted.
10. What historical figure or person from the past would you most like to have dinner with?
My dog's parents.
11. What TV show do you never miss?
Deadwood, the HBO cuss-alot cowboy series on Monday nights. And then to purify myself, reruns of The Wonder Years on weekdays.
12. Who would you pick to play you in a movie of your life?
The two Davids - David Cassidy for Sonny Drysdale: The Early Years. And David Crosby for Sonny: The Middle-aged Years.
13. What disc is on your CD player right now?
The Partridge Family. Duh.
14. Describe your perfect day?
Spending the morning in bed with my naked wife. After that, who cares?
15. What do you wear to work?
I work the night shift in a group home. So I show up in my pajamas.
16. What was the last play you attended?
Brokeback Mountin': The Broadway Musical.
17. What is your idea of a fun night out on the town?
Setting the alarm for midnight. Get up, poach an egg and then catch a cab to Call the Office to see '63 Monroe and hope they hit the stage sometime before dawn.
18. When and where was your last vacation?
The Jet Set Motel outside Ingersoll near the 401 a couple of Valentines Days ago. Caught a glimpse of the ghost of Jackie O.
19. Will you vote in the coming municipal election?
Voting for Robert Vaughn, the Man from U.N.C.L.E. for councillor for Ward 12; voting for anyone but incumbents on Board of Control. And I always vote the Daddy Ivan Warbucks ticket for Mayor. If Mel Lastman can do the job, so can Ivan. And he can't be any worse than the two front runners in the campaign.
20. What is your biggest regret?
Got real loaded a couple of New Years Eve's ago and woke up married to Britney Spears. Didn't work out.
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 6:04 AM
8 Comments:
You smart-assed sonofabitch. Can't you answer a single fucking question from the IRS with a straight fucking face? And I had you booked into Ceasar's Fucking Palace for Christ's sake. Now you've gone squirrel on me.
Somebody's ass is grass and the Meyer Lansky Gang is a lawnmower.
I like the Black Squirrel idea. Those snooty snots up in Exeter think they're soooooo cool.
Here's a bonafide scoop for ya, Sonny.
First place it's appeared is right here.
Paul Haggis is returning to London on Friday, October 13 for a special, premiere screening of a new flick at SilverCity in Masonville Place. It's a big big deal with VIPS and the works -- and I've got an invite.
Payback for being honoured by London last month. Details to follow.
I'd give it to ArtSCAPE (oh I forgot, it's a monthly) but they don't like scoops or hot news just snorefest, slobbering blowjobs and boring pictures of tea settings.
That's great news Butch. If you get the chance, ask Haggis if he can get me Tori Spelling's autograph.
Sonny, here's Haggis's publicist'e e-mail. You might wanna make that request yourself.
zkozlowski@bk-pr.com (Ziggy Kozlowski)
Actually, I've just received clarification regarding this premiere from Paramount Pictures in Hollywood.
The private VIP screening will be held at SilverCity in Masonville on Saturday, September 14, at 10 a.m. A screening of the movie, The Flags of our Fathers, directed by Clint Eastwood, written by Paul Haggis and produced by Steven Spielberg.
The movie opens in the U.S. on October 20, six days later.
Make that Saturday, October 14 at 10 a.m. The drugs are just starting to wear off.
"VIPs only?"
Do we have that many locally to fill an entire movie theatre?
Needless to say, after they give freebies away to Nick Paperella and the rest of the media in town, it shouldn't be hard to win tickets on the radio.
Clint Eastwood, huh? I once sang showtunes with the cat when he dropped in and played piano at the restaurant to the Inn he owns in Carmel, Calif. Nice guy. And a surprisingly good singer.
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