Area Senior Asked to Recycle Toe-nail Clippings

Hicksville senior citizen Ed 'Pops' Clausen is under pressure from a local environmental group to recycle his unswept toe-nail clippings.

Kerry Eveningstar of 'Residents for Environmental Protection NOW!' says that Clausen's clippings represent a safety hazard for everyone in the tri-county area. "Those things aren't bio-degradable. Even if he vacuumed them up they would be taking up valuable space in a land-fill for millions of years."

Eveningstar, who is also Clausen's son-in-law and lives with 'Pops' and his daughter Debbie says that Clausen trims his toe-nails on the front porch, never cleans up after himself and "quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of tripping over the damn things every time I go up and down the steps. Have you seen them? Man, they're like something out of the Petrified Forest."

When asked, Clausen says he has no problem with recycling his toe-nail shards, "As long as it will help keep the peace between Kerry and Debbie."

He adds that he plans to fashion the clippings into some form of jewelry to sell at swap meets. "Probably necklaces. Maybe even charm-bracelets if they catch on."