My Rezoom
Seems I've been 'tagged' by fellow blogger Jim Dandy David. I don't know how to link to him, so what you do is go to my latest post right below you for 'Catch-phrase of the Year,' click on comments and then click on David's highlighted 'tag.' And it will take you to his challenge to list all of the lame paying jobs you have held over the years.
Now first off, I don't think there is such a thing as a shitty job. Even when I rode shotgun in a Dutch Laundry truck, although I hated every day, every hour, every minute, every second, every nanosecond of it, I kept telling myself, "It builds character, man. It builds character."
And that's what has got me through some interesting twists and turns on the career path until I ended up where I am today. Every time I come back to work after a weekend or a vacation, I don't have that usual Sunday night dread like other people. You know, that soul-sucking despair which begins to seep into your bones sometime about 7:30 on a Saturday night.
Because I sincerely believe that I have the best job in the world. I play the role of 'Uncle Charlie' from 'My Three Sons' in a group home. I've waited all my life for a job like this. As far as I'm concerned, I'm the luckiest boy in the world. In fact, even though my union won't allow me to, I'd be willing to do it for free. Lord knows, the job itself is reward enough.
But even the Dutch Laundry job offered something. Like a discount on dry-cleaning.
Anyway, here's my list of all the paying jobs I have held over the years. But to make it more fun, I have included one which I just made up. See if you can guess which one it is. The winner may be eligible for a prize!
Cabana boy for Cleopatra on the Nile in a previous life.
An alternate swordsman in the Four Musketeers in 17th century France in a past life. Viva l' egalitay!
Co-inventor of Smith Brothers cough drops in a previous life.
Played a Shakespearean sex-slave named 'Romeo' to Taylor Swift's married 'Juliet' in a previous life. Hence her being branded with the Scarlet Letter.
Was the horse who provided the voice of 'Mr. Ed,' the popular 1960s 'dramedy' of the same name. This too was in a past life.
Bag boy in a previous life for the Corleone Family.
Bag boy for N&D Grocery in Windsor, Ont. part-time after school in this life.
Freelance essay writer in last two years of high-school for anyone who could pony up a $5 bill.
Junior Forest Ranger on Lake Hobon, two hours north of Wawa. This was during my 'Back to Nature' period. Spent the summer pulling stumps and swatting black flies for room and board and $200 at the end.
Summer job filling sandbags in Belle River, in preparation for the annual spring flooding of the Detroit River. This was during my 'I'm all about the Environment' period.
Just like Crazy Legs, sought donations and ticket sales over the phone for 'charitable' concerts - this one starring Tommy Cash, George Hamilton IV and Jeanie Shepherd (?).
Later went legit and solicited subscriptions to the Globe and Mail over the phone.
During summers while attending University, worked as a driver's helper for Dutch Laundry. Also known as Jarmains Cleaners and Forest City Linen Supply. The logo on the truck was a beloved image of hanging laundry flapping in the breeze. In this case, three bedsheets. Just what you want to see when you are on the 401 - a big white truck bearing down on your ass with a visual warning that the driver might be "three sheets to the wind."
Spent another summer as a 'Biographical Researcher' for the London Regional Art Gallery back when the Art Gallery was located upstairs of the Downtown Library back when the library was on Queens Ave. Did a lot of photocopying on what was then called a "Xerox" machine. Looked at a bunch of paintings and tried unsuccessfully to understand even one sentence in 'Arts Canada.'
After obtaining a BA in English Literature and unable to obtain a job in my chosen field, I spent a lost year as a member of the French Foreign Legion.
After that I lived like a young rajah in all the capitals of Europe - Paris, Venice, Rome - collecting jewels, chiefly rubies, hunting big game, painting a little - things for myself only. And trying to forget something very sad that had happened to me long ago.
Back Stateside, I worked a year for the School of Journalism at U.W.O. in 1980 for a project called 'Westex News.' We re-wrote farm news from the CP Wire and then sent them out to the home computers of wealthy farmers in Manitoba via a device called a "modem." Our crack staff of three were pioneers on the information highway. We were wired before Al Gore even claimed the idea for what is now commonly known as 'The Innernet.'
After that, wrote for various publications on a variety of subjects as long as they were about Dark Shadows, David Lynch, The Andy Griffith Show, 63 Monroe or chicks and eventually ended up in the group-home game.
Wrote a book called 'Comical Co-Stars of Television' which is currently on the million-seller list on Amazon. Meaning it is ranked one million from #1.
GOALS FOR THE FUTURE - hosting my own syndicated fishing show on the television.
Now first off, I don't think there is such a thing as a shitty job. Even when I rode shotgun in a Dutch Laundry truck, although I hated every day, every hour, every minute, every second, every nanosecond of it, I kept telling myself, "It builds character, man. It builds character."
And that's what has got me through some interesting twists and turns on the career path until I ended up where I am today. Every time I come back to work after a weekend or a vacation, I don't have that usual Sunday night dread like other people. You know, that soul-sucking despair which begins to seep into your bones sometime about 7:30 on a Saturday night.
Because I sincerely believe that I have the best job in the world. I play the role of 'Uncle Charlie' from 'My Three Sons' in a group home. I've waited all my life for a job like this. As far as I'm concerned, I'm the luckiest boy in the world. In fact, even though my union won't allow me to, I'd be willing to do it for free. Lord knows, the job itself is reward enough.
But even the Dutch Laundry job offered something. Like a discount on dry-cleaning.
Anyway, here's my list of all the paying jobs I have held over the years. But to make it more fun, I have included one which I just made up. See if you can guess which one it is. The winner may be eligible for a prize!
Cabana boy for Cleopatra on the Nile in a previous life.
An alternate swordsman in the Four Musketeers in 17th century France in a past life. Viva l' egalitay!
Co-inventor of Smith Brothers cough drops in a previous life.
Played a Shakespearean sex-slave named 'Romeo' to Taylor Swift's married 'Juliet' in a previous life. Hence her being branded with the Scarlet Letter.
Was the horse who provided the voice of 'Mr. Ed,' the popular 1960s 'dramedy' of the same name. This too was in a past life.
Bag boy in a previous life for the Corleone Family.
Bag boy for N&D Grocery in Windsor, Ont. part-time after school in this life.
Freelance essay writer in last two years of high-school for anyone who could pony up a $5 bill.
Junior Forest Ranger on Lake Hobon, two hours north of Wawa. This was during my 'Back to Nature' period. Spent the summer pulling stumps and swatting black flies for room and board and $200 at the end.
Summer job filling sandbags in Belle River, in preparation for the annual spring flooding of the Detroit River. This was during my 'I'm all about the Environment' period.
Just like Crazy Legs, sought donations and ticket sales over the phone for 'charitable' concerts - this one starring Tommy Cash, George Hamilton IV and Jeanie Shepherd (?).
Later went legit and solicited subscriptions to the Globe and Mail over the phone.
During summers while attending University, worked as a driver's helper for Dutch Laundry. Also known as Jarmains Cleaners and Forest City Linen Supply. The logo on the truck was a beloved image of hanging laundry flapping in the breeze. In this case, three bedsheets. Just what you want to see when you are on the 401 - a big white truck bearing down on your ass with a visual warning that the driver might be "three sheets to the wind."
Spent another summer as a 'Biographical Researcher' for the London Regional Art Gallery back when the Art Gallery was located upstairs of the Downtown Library back when the library was on Queens Ave. Did a lot of photocopying on what was then called a "Xerox" machine. Looked at a bunch of paintings and tried unsuccessfully to understand even one sentence in 'Arts Canada.'
After obtaining a BA in English Literature and unable to obtain a job in my chosen field, I spent a lost year as a member of the French Foreign Legion.
After that I lived like a young rajah in all the capitals of Europe - Paris, Venice, Rome - collecting jewels, chiefly rubies, hunting big game, painting a little - things for myself only. And trying to forget something very sad that had happened to me long ago.
Back Stateside, I worked a year for the School of Journalism at U.W.O. in 1980 for a project called 'Westex News.' We re-wrote farm news from the CP Wire and then sent them out to the home computers of wealthy farmers in Manitoba via a device called a "modem." Our crack staff of three were pioneers on the information highway. We were wired before Al Gore even claimed the idea for what is now commonly known as 'The Innernet.'
After that, wrote for various publications on a variety of subjects as long as they were about Dark Shadows, David Lynch, The Andy Griffith Show, 63 Monroe or chicks and eventually ended up in the group-home game.
Wrote a book called 'Comical Co-Stars of Television' which is currently on the million-seller list on Amazon. Meaning it is ranked one million from #1.
GOALS FOR THE FUTURE - hosting my own syndicated fishing show on the television.
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 1:48 AM
5 Comments:
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sonny, just once in your life I wish you would play it straight -- just once fer Chrissakes!
Now tell the nice folks out there in Nut 'n' CandyAssLand how you worked as a regular stand-in for Johnny (The Wadd) Holmes when he couldn't raise the ol' flagpole.
And how you never ever needed a fluff girl to raise the Main Sail and square the Jib.
The links are all there...you worked for Dutch Laundry...Crazy Legs worked in dry cleaning too. You were a Jr. Forest Ranger, as was Herb and The Rev. You write really well, as does Kid Dork. And you were a cabana boy for Cleopatra and I have debased myself beyond reckoning with really offensive women.
We are all mind-control slaves of the Illuminati.
Gotta go call Gary Bell.
Long live the New World Disorder!
I must point out that Sonny neglected to mention his being the chairman of the Southwestern Ontario Avengers, and how it was funny whenever the Crimson Avenger would appear, Sonny was nowhere to be seen.
People had suspicions, but none could be proven.
Post a Comment
<< Home