She Lives!
Spanner Girl Sightings -
1.) Fifteen feet off ground - vertical billboard - corner of Ridout and York, before the train tracks facing York Street.
2.) Same height as #1 location, relatively the same latitude and longitude, but at the corner of Springbank and Wharncliffe - facing Wharncliffe. Again, next to the train tracks.
3.) Possible sighting, not yet confirmed at York Street and Wellington, across from the Convention Centre. Facing York. Also close to the tracks.
There are other Spanner billboards about town but do not be fooled. THIS is THE Spanner Girl.
In related Spanner Girl news, a lot of you have written in lately to my Spanner Girl Newsletter, "Spanner Girl News Monthly," asking if they can purchase my poem, 'Ode to the Spanner Girl,' in any volume of contemporary verse. Or perhaps in a 'chap-book' format.
Sadly, at press time, the answer is 'No.' More specifically, "Thank you for considering us as a publisher for your interesting poem but it currently does not meet our needs and editorial direction. We wish you the best of luck in finding a more suitable publisher for your poetry."
I've got a whole desk-drawer full of those letters. No one in Corporate Verse-Publishing seems interested in the Spanner Girl. Or in 'Beauty' or 'Truth' for that matter.
Luckily, I'm not in it for the money anyway. So here it is again. I don't mind giving it away for free. Anything to help spead the word about the Spanner Girl and her mission to promote stylish clothing and accessories - at affordable prices.
Ode to the Spanner Girl, by Sonny Drysdale
O Spanner Girl,
Up there on your billboard throne,
You look so serious.
Are you sad? Are you glum?
Why so melancholy as you look down
At us mere mortals
From Mount Olympus?
Are you in prison up there?
Is it awful up there?
Is it like Rapunzel-awful?
If only you would let down your hair,
I could be a brave passing knight,
Climb your long tresses,
And save you.
But how would we get down?
Alas, I cannot save you.
Not with your hair cut in
That fashionable bob.
O Spanner Girl
Just say the word.
And I shall leap like a trout
From a stream
To rescue you.
I will if you want me to.
But where would we go for lunch?
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 3:22 AM
7 Comments:
Such a good ode, Sonny. I had a great laugh.
Then I thought, what if he's really hung up on Spanner Girl. It could happen, and I'll look like a schmuck for laughing.
So I'm laughing but also trying to be sensitive.
Excellent post.
GAH
Spanner Girl-Honey Pot-Hot Legs
Who's that knocking on my door?
It's gotta be a quarter to four
Is it you again coming round for more?
Well you can love me tonight if you want
But in the morning make sure youre gone
I'm talkin to you
Hot legs, wearing me out
Hot legs, you can scream and shout
Hot legs, are you still in school?
I love you Honey Pot
Gotta most persuasive tongue
You promise all kinds of fun
But what you don't understand
Im a working man
Gonna need a shot of Vitamin E
By the time youre finished with me
I'm talking to you
Hot legs, you're an alley cat
Hot legs, you scratch my back
Hot legs, bring your mother too
I love you Honey Pot
Imagine how my daddy felt
In your jet black suspender belt
Seventeen years old
He's touching sixty four
You got legs right up to your neck
You're making me a physical wreck
I'm talking to you
Hot legs, in your satin shoes
Hot legs, are you still in school?
Hot legs, you're making me a fool
I love you Honey Pot
Hot legs, making your mark
Hot legs, keep my pencil sharp
Hot legs, keep your hands to yourself
I love you Honey Pot
Hot legs, you're wearing me out
Hot legs, you can scream and shout
Hot legs, you're still in school
I love you Honey Pot
Piss off Butch
If you were the last man on the face of the earth, I still wouldn't consider it.
Thanks for the comments about my pome, Gordo.
You couldn't tell it was my first could you?
I'm gonna send it to Peggy Atwood and see if she can use her influence to get me a poetry contract with one of the big publishing houses.
If not, I'll try sending it to Barack Obama.
Aw shucks, Honey Pot, and here I thought you'd turned over a new leaf and had your rabies shot.
Your first?
You have promise and potential, mark my wurds.
Cheers,
GAH
Rite on!
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