Jim Chapman - Yesterday's Man

"Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift, that's why
they call it the present."
- Jim Chapman

The above quote is taken from the 'Home' page of www.jimchapman.ca, the website of local broadcaster Jim Chapman. Considering the attribution beneath this little homily, one might assume that Jim himself actually penned this little pome.

Nope. Type it into the Google 'search.'... It seems that no one knows who first came up with this pithy little gem, but I recognized it because it had "Hallmark greeting card" written all over it. In fact, it's the sort of email crap that well-meaning friends send you along with a slide show of grandparents and little brats or else puppies and aged declawed cats.

The reason I was even on Jim's website in the first place was because for the past month or so, on his weekday morning AM-radio lecture series broadcast by AM980,he's been talking about this new Internet 'Newsletter' he's going to be doing once he hires a full-time editor/reporter. After sorting through all the resumes.

That was a few weeks ago. But on his show last Monday, February 8, Jim promised to have the new editor/reporter on the air the next day to talk about the 'Newsletter.' Then didn't show up 'live' until Friday with nary a mention of 'The Jim Chapman Newsletter.'

Just so you know, 'The Jim Chapman Newsletter' would be a means for everyone who doesn't have the time to do the research themselves, to find out how Jim would vote in this fall's municipal elections. This way, Jim's Army of lazy uninformed boobs will know who to vote for (example) - middle-of-the-roader Bill Armstrong or one of dinosaur car-guy Bud Polhill's offspring?

This week, I've tuned in daily for an update. Today was the last time I will. Yesterday, he said that he would have the successful applicant for the editor/reporter job on with him on Friday's show. But this morning was more or less a typically rambling (and sans 'Editor/Reporter) infomercial for the 'Newsletter' which we are now promised will be available on-line March 5th. Given Jim's track record, don't hold your breath.

This is a guy who once had - and possibly still has aspirations of holding elected office but can't seem to get elected. This is a guy who once legitimately held the well-deserved title of 'King of All Media' here in Hicksville, Ohio. This is a guy who had a great radio talk show on CJBK because it was 'open-line' - he actually took callers. And it was good because unlike today's show on a different station, he had a producer who actually forced him to FOCUS. And then, like now, I actually agreed with some of what he had to say.

Maybe it's a good thing that he's hiring an editor for his latest vanity project. Because he surely needs one. Check out this quote I've heard at least twice in the past month, the most recent being this very morning - "Don't get me wrong about what I'm about to say. I mean no disrespect to anyone on City Council - although most of them have no business being there."

Don't believe me, check the AM980 website. Each show is 'archived.'

And *THIS* is the guy I want 'advising' me on how to vote in the next election?

Just how controversial will this Newsletter be? Well, consider this. Last week, he offered Mayor Anne-Marie Shortchanged his entire hour of air-time to host his radio show. So last Thursday she brought along Chamber of Commerce guy Gerry McCartney and London Economic Development Something or Other Department head Peter White, and they spent the hour telling Jimmy's Army what a great job they have been doing in bringing in new jobs and that the most important thing was that there was great 'communication' with Londoners. What with the City's presence on Facebook and all. But during that hour, despite having the technology at their fingertips, they weren't taking any phone calls. Just in case people didn't agree with their self-assessment.

It's peculiar that Jim even gave Her Worship this public campaign contribution because he's always going on and on about how he *likes* the Mayor as a person. Even considers her a friend - "Even though we don't agree on everything." Meanwhile, every other day he's making cracks about the "lack of leadership" which is adversely affecting our City Council and City Hall.

But I have to wonder - *IF* I had my own local radio program where I could have an elected official on and the capability to take calls from an angry public, would I give the incumbent Mayor a free hour-long infomercial - OR would I attempt to be a 'real' journalist or at least use the opportunity to make some good radio?

When you hand the microphone over to mayor for an hour, the very least that your listeners should expect from you is that you hold her feet to the fire. But Jim wasn't even there. Wasn't even in the studio. Instead, he got her campaign team to sub for him.

And *THIS* is the guy I want advising me on WHO to vote for next fall?


Check out his website, www.jimchapman.ca . As a self-stlyed 'rogue' journalist, Jim doesn't have a lot of credibility. Not when he makes a Hallmark Greeting Card homily look to be his own by sticking his name underneath it. Geez, if you're going to take credit for someone else's words at least pick something good. At least steal something edgy or controversial.

But relevancy is the major problem here. Not even a brand new 'Newsletter' can help. The current website is proof enough that he is truly yesterday's man.


Are you there yet? All you have to do is go to the tab on the home-page titled "Civic Election 2010."

... are you there yet? No? Well, let me share - the most 'current' entry for our upcoming municipal election is from late December, 2006 - 'Crystal Ball Shows Expensive Future.' No guff. Can't argue with that one. But it's the fact that it's the most recent post in a website section devoted to an election to be held in the year 2010 which is what's troubling.

There are even more dated entries to the 'Civic Election 2010' section of the website. How about this one - 'Council Reform a Recipe for Trouble.' From the summer of 2005.

I'm assuming that a new Newletter/website will mean Jim scraps all of that old stuff. Because stale-dated columns from almost five years ago under the heading of 'Civic Elecion 2010' is just plain embarrassing. Especially with "Copyright 2009" at the bottom of the home-page.

Is a new Newsletter going to be any more up to date? Jim's way of thinking is on its way out. He can hire all the writer/reporters in the world to try to make his buddies on Council such as Bud Polhill sound exciting and credible but for them it's over. And it was over last election when the new ward system was first introduced.

And now that this new council has gotten rid of the out-dated Board of Control, it's over for them for good. Good thing Bud has a good day-job. After this fall's election, he and his broadcaster friend should just retire gracefully. Because I can't bear another four years of Jim railing against how the Lefties on council stole our votes by eliminating Board of Control. It's a done deal, Jim. And it was done legally and democratically by the people WE elected. Time to embrace the future and stop living in the past. That little piece of advice is my 'present' to you.

Should anyone out there want to subscribe to Jim's newsletter - whenever it actually gets started - can get on the mailing list by emailing jimchapman@rogers.com and putting 'Newsletter' in the header.

And you will officially be considered part of Chapman's Army. Not that Jim is actually calling it that these days. Recently he's been toying a lot with the phrase "the Silent Majority." Good way to motivate the electorate, Jim. By borrowing a term from four decades ago made famous by Richard Nixon.

The Dalton Pixie Strikes Again!

Today is 'Family Day' here in Ontario, Canada. All over the province this morning, kids were up at the crack of dawn, rushing out to the kitchen table to see if the Dalton Pixie had visited during the night and left them a present.

This is the third Family Day. The first one was in 2008 courtesy of an election promise from Premier Dalton McGuinty the previous fall to give us all an additional free day off work if we re-elected his government to power. If you called it a blatant bribe you wouldn't be wrong. Still, a day off is a day off and no one is complaining.

For any out-of-staters out there, the Dalton Pixie is a magical creature who only comes to life during the pre-dawn hours of Family Day. He sneaks into homes all over Ontario while everyone is fast asleep and then picks the pockets of grownups and leaves a present for all the good little boys and girls who have not yet reached voting age.

But the Dalton Pixie is a mischievious little imp. He only brings hot air, empty promises and useless gifts. On the first Family Day, when Gnut opened the gift he found on the kitchen table, inside the gift bag was a can of mushrooms. Gnut doesn't like mushrooms. Refuses to eat them. And to add insult to injury, they weren't even whole mushrooms or even sliced. Nope. These were the ones with the appetizing label of 'Pieces and Stems.'

On the Dalton Pixie's return visit last year, Gnut unwrapped a jar of sliced pickled beets. Needless to say, Gnut doesn't like pickled beets. Refuses to eat them.

Not too surprisingly, this morning he was in no hurry to rush up to see what the Dalton Pixie had brought, given his past track record. However, when he did finally make it upstairs at noon, he was happy to see TWO presents on the table. One was a big box, the other much smaller. Of course he opened the biggest one first. Inside was a can of Campbell's Bean and Bacon Soup. The only type of soup Gnut will eat is Chicken Noodle or Clam Chowder. I'm not sure if it was a sigh or a cuss-word I heard under his breath.

Then he opened the smaller gift. Inside was a can of Campbell's Bean and Bacon Soup.
This time I did hear a swear word.

But I'm proud to say that he took it like a man. "Oh, that Dalton Pixie," he chuckled good-naturedly. "He's done it again!"

Then he heated up a piece of leftover Family Eve pizza and Mother and I sat down to two very big bowls of Bean and Bacon soup.

Road Trip to Visit Seth!

I met the Canadian treasure best known as 'Seth' last weekend. He's one of those cartoonist guys. Graphic novels and such. And unlike most popular regional Ontario artists, he has an exhibit at Museum London, hopefully long before his death.

Seth (not his real name,) looks to be in his forties. His show at the London Regional Art Gallery at the Forks of the Thames is called 'Dominion' and is his imagined very Canadian city called 'Dominion.' For those youngsters out there who may be reading this, Canada used to be called 'The Dominion of Canada.' In fact, what we now call 'Canada Day,' was known as 'Dominion Day' up till about Centennial Year in 1967 when all hell broke loose and we changed our flag from that thing with the Union Jack up in the corner to the current one with the bands of white flanking a big red maple leaf. Well, I suppose that's what you get when you ask an American - in this case Andy Warhol - to design your flag.

The exhibit itself is an installation of Seth's 60 or so cardboard reproductions of the buildings in his idea of a typical Canadian town as it would look in the post-war years. In his notes, he mentions that it was originally conceived of as a Northern Ontario town. But architecturally-speaking, it could just as easily be any mid-sized town anywhere in Ontario or all of Canada or mid-west United States for that matter.

The installation and imagination that went into it is quite impressive. And highly recommended. I'll spare you all of that high-falutin' artspeak and David Copperfield crap because you can go see it for yourselves. It's at Museum London till the middle of March. I almost wish the London Art Gallery was still located overtop the old London Public Library on Queens Ave. It would be more at home there. And a perfect reflection of the city that lay a block to the south.

When I met Seth last Sunday, it was because he was giving a little talk and artist tour of the 'Dominion' exhibit. I had accidently wandered into the show about a month earlier and realized that I had a copy of his latest graphic novel - or self-described "picture novella" which I had received as a gift last spring.

... And hadn't cracked open until last Sunday morning, the day of Seth's talk. I figured that since the guy was only two blocks away, I might as well go hear him and at least get my book signed.

I forgot the book at home but I was tickled pink at the man's writing. Lots of stuff about life and death and the fading of memory and the world around as it we get older. Put it this way, I could relate - simply as the author of a book of memoirs entitled 'Look Back in Anguish' and an autobiography called 'Living in the Past.'

I knew I was onto something good about the third page when Seth is talking about the birth of the title character George Sprott (the kind of star from the time when there was few television stations around - George is a bit like Elwy Yost and George Pierrot, the travelogue guy from Detroit television in the 1960s.) Seth writes that George was "born in Chatham, Ontario, although other sources suggest that it may have been Galt, Ontario."

It's that kind of subtle dry comic touch that I appreciate. In the town George lives, there are two television stations. The one he works for is the less successful of the two. Not hard to understand given the vision and lack of imagination of their management. The station is named CKCK. Back then every local television station's call letters started with 'CK.'

So I was about twenty pages into the book last Sunday when it was time for the artist talk. We arrive just about five minutes before it was to start. And as we're rushing to the front door, I see this tall elegantly dressed fellow in a long overcoat with a suit and silk tie underneath and he's having a smoke outside the front door. I immediately knew it was Seth. Never seen the fellow before in person, but I'd read an article in the Globe and Mail last May which described him as a dapper fellow prone to wearing fedoras and vintage clothing. Kinda looked like John Waters or Steve Buscemi, that funny-looking guy from the motion-pictures. And I mean that as a compliment.

Well, this day he wasn't wearing his trademark fedora but I knew it was him. For one thing, if it wasn't Seth, it had to be an out-of-towner. Because no one dresses that well for London on the weekend. No one in this town looks that dapper. Not even city-counciller Roger Caranci. But the real dead-giveaway was, who else would be outside a lecture hall a few minutes before showtime furiously puffing away? He's an *artist* - of course he's a smoker!

No one else out there with him so I walk up to him, repress the urge to ask if he might have an extra smoke and ask if he's Mr. Seth. Well, dang it all if I'm not right.

I tell him how much I've enjoyed the first 20 pages of 'George Sprott' and then ask him a - for me, rather intelligent question. "Now tell me, 'Dominion City' inside there, is it based on Chatham or Galt?"

Well, of course we both had a little chuckle over that. And then, as one who has had to answer similar questions too many times, he tells me that Dominion City is based on a number of Ontario cities.

And then, as no surprise to me, he adds London into the mix. He gestures to the left towards our main drag of Dundas Street and says that Dominion City is from the era of the fifites which was very much London, Ontario.

Ironically, in the direction he's gesturing, the ENTIRE immediate block before us has been razed to the ground on BOTH sides of the street to make way for a modern monument in ugliness known as The Court House, a mediocre piece of some kind of Post-Modernism called 'Bell Telephone Regional Headquarters' and on the other side of the road, a junior-hockey arena with a Disneyesque reproduction of the 150-year-old Talbot Hotel which was knocked down in its place.

The actual exhibit of 'Dominion' is far more representative of how that block used to look. The Talbot Hotel was previously a dump called 'The Belvedere Hotel' where you could get pickled eggs, 25-cent glasses of draft, a cheap room upstairs the size of a closet - and venereal disease. All in one night.

Down the block closer to where the Museum now stands and across from the Courthouse was a small three-floor block of building with 'Bill's Food Bar' as its anchor. The kind of diner which until its demolition in the early 1980s had remained unchanged since opening in the '50s. The kind of place that closes about four in the afternoon because it did a brisk lunch trade in milkshakes with the old stainless-steel cups and a cream-coloured gravy for the french fries which my favorite London artist once compared to looking like cum.

That, is the London which has a lot in common with Dominion City. The closest we have to that is the stretch of architecture on Richmond Street in the block between King and York. In fact, if you were to walk down that block on a winter's night you would swear you were in Dominion City back in the 1950s or the '70s.

I know Seth has felt that way. I happened to be sneaking a look at the first few pages of his graphic novel 'It's a Good Life If You Don't Weaken' on Amazon and lo and behold, the narrator is visiting London Ont. in the early '80s and wanders downstairs into the old 'Book Brothers' used bookstore on Richmond looking for a collection of 'Peanuts.' Shit, deja vu. I'd done the same thing many a time looking for old 'Dark Shadows' paperbacks and vintage '16 Magazine's.

Anyway, back to the Dominion installation and George Sprott. It was heartening to see some of the buildings central to George' life that I had been reading about just that morning - the Melody Grill, the Coronet Hall, CKCK Radio, Narwal Books and the Radio Hotel where George spent his final years living in a shabby suite of rooms on the top floor. The building which housed Clyde Fans makes me feel I must broaden my reading of Seth's other books.

But the building I got the biggest kick out of was the sole residential house in the entire installation of Dominion City. The name-tag called it 'Inkwell's End.' It's really a reproduction of Seth's own house in a small town not too far north of here.

Soooo, how about it, gang? What say we make a trip up there and drop in on Seth? It shouldn't be hard to find his house. 'Inkwell's End' is etched into the glass of the front door. And if the reproduction is accurate, it's a red-brick three-floor single-family dwelling from about 1920 or so. That should narrow it down a bit. And I also happen to know that it's near the railway tracks. Thank you, Globe & Mail reporter.

Seth may not appreciate us knocking on his door unannounced and probably won't answer the door if he gets a good look at us from behind the curtains. But he appears to be a nice guy. The best way to describe him is that he seems like the kind of guy that you wouldn't expect to run into at the beach. I think you'll like him.