Challenge Issued to Dalton McGuinty

For the past week, Sonny has been part of the OPSEU strike against the provincial government and Community Living London. Sonny has been part of the picketing brigade.

This is all old hat to Sonny Drysdale. Some eight years ago he went thru the same thing in the OPSEU strike against London's Salvation Army Community Living in the now-legendary 'Battle for The Village.' That particular unwanted lesson in labour/management relations was a disaster from beginning to end.

But the current strike is a different story. Community Living associations are simultaneously going on strike together in solidarity throughout southern Ontario. The momentum is growing. By the time it reaches Toronto, the provincial government will have little choice in diverting money to Community Living budgets to pay its frontline workers more than the usual two per-cent raise we always get offered. And pay us the equivalent of what others doing the same work are being paid elsewhere.

The fact that there is a provincial election scheduled for early October only helps. When the Salvation Army Community Living went on strike there was about 100 of us out there on the picket lines. No one in the provincial government even noticed we were there. Mike Harris was the Conservative premier at the time and this man is a well-documented heartless bastard.

This time around, Liberal Dalton McGuinty is Premier and in preparation for this fall's election, he has been going around handing out millions of dollars like a drunken sailor. Unlike Harris, Dalton wants everyone to think he's a nice guy. And that ain't gonna happen if he doesn't come to the table with his wallet open and do some negotiating with the people who work with developmentally-challenged or intellectually-disabled or people with behavioural shortcomings. If Dalton ever expects to be re-elected Premier of this province again, he's going to have to do something and do it soon before he damages his already wishy-washy public image even more.

So morale on the picket-line is high. The will of management is weakening. It's all in the hands of the provincial government.

Not that it's needed right now but back in the days of the Battle for The Village, some of the strikers would try to boost morale on the line by making challenges to their fellow picketers.

Many men did so by vowing to stop shaving for the duration of the strike. I tried that but no one noticed so instead I stopped shaving my legs and armpits. I understand that in the Solidarity movement over in Europe, many of the women also do this whenever there is labour/management conflict. After a hard day of picketing, they will even show up on the beach that way. And not only that - but topless as well. It's a very European look that perhaps some of their Ontarioian brothers and sisters might think of adapting.

But that tradition of challenging your union brethren still continues today. Yea, it is as old as those eternally-burning flames in the ever-present fire-barrels themselves.

One young brother recently told me that he planned to wear the same blue OPSEU tee-shirt for the duration of the strike and not wash it once until it was all over. I was going to one-up him by treating my blue OPSEU underwear the same way. But I don't wear underwear. I like the freedom.

So instead, I am going to issue a challenge directly to Premier Dalton McGuinty himself.

Yo, Dalton! For people like myself, who live paycheck to paycheck, this strike is a matter of life and death. To the people we support in group homes, who are now being attended to by replacement-worker scabs with no experience, it is a matter of life and death.

So until you come to the table Dalton and make this strike your priority in your dream to be re-elected, every day until this strike is over, I (a non-smoker,) vow to smoke one entire cigarette every time I show up on the picket-line.

Think about it, Mr. Premier, do you really want your part in my death on your conscience and in the newspapers while going into an election campaign?

One cigarette for every strike shift I pull.

Another nail in the coffin for every picketing shift I do out there on the line.

That's my contribution to help end this strike. Due to the health risks, I don't suggest my fellow picketers follow my example. Some things you just have to do alone.

So there you go, Dalton. What will it be - life or death for Sonny Drysdale?

The ball's in your court, Premier.

London Mourns Death of Murderer

A minute of silence will be observed tonight at a meeting of London City Council for deceased murderer Kelly Johnson as well as for her victim David Lucio.

Both had long careers with the London Police Force. Johnson was an Acting Inspector and Lucio was a retired Superindendent.

Autopsy results released today concluded that Johnson was indeed the one who did the shooting in last week's murder/suicide of ex-lovers Johnson and Lucio.

Media reports have speculated for the past week on the motives for the killings of the two former co-workers. However, the facts are that - minutes before the murder of Lucio, Johnson stopped by police headquarters and with no authorization took out a pistol, got in a mini-van with her former lover Lucio and then according to the autopsy, shot him and then herself before her van plowed into her downtown apartment building where both were found dead minutes later last Thursday, June 8th.

According to the London Free Press, Johnson was a community leader in fighting domestic violence.

Experts contacted by the London Free Press excused Johnson's behavior by explaining that she had received a recent job promotion and was under a lot of stress. Apparently stress leave or counselling was not considered.

Retired police superintendent/domestic-violence victim David Lucio was buried today.

Man Fails to Get Laid Following Gwen Stefani Concert

Middle-aged single Dwight Schmidlapt went home alone following last night's Gwen Stefani concert at the John Labatt's Centre in downtown London. It was a disappointing evening all round for Schmidlapt who had laid out $125 for a single ticket on the floor close to the stage.

"I figured the place would be full of chicks in their 20s. You know, like one of those infomercials for Girls Gone Wild. And I would be the only guy there. I thought, how could I go wrong?" says Schmidlapt.

In fact, the entire floor was full of young girls but most were about 12 years old and too busy phoning their friends on their camera-cell phones to notice Schmidlapt.

Even if they had noticed the balding Schmidlapt, they would not have been impressed, says one fellow middleaged concert-goer who was there with her 10-year-old daughter. Yvonne Cooperman, who had a previous run-in with Schmidlapt two weeks previously at the recent Stevie Nicks concert says, "Yeah, it was the same asshole alright. I ask ya - what are the chances, huh?"

"And he was doing the same kinda shit he did at Stevie's show," Cooperman reports. "Like yelling out requests for Gwen to sing Just a Girl. Can you believe it!? And then, when he started yelling for her to sing Candyman - you know, the new Christina Aquilera song? Well, at that point, I had to get my kid to tell him to shut the fuck up."

Prior to Stefani taking to the stage, Schmidlapt hung around the Red Roaster Coffee vending station and repeatedly told any female who would listen that he was "All about the 'woo-hoo yee-hoo!' If you know what I mean."

No one did.

After the show, Schmidlapt stood alone at the bar across the street in Robinson Hall, nursing a Bud Light and surrounded by young single women in their early twenties who were all in the process of getting rapidly drunk and were willing to lose all their inhibitions to any man who knew the name of Stefani's first band and was also comfortable enough with his own masculinity to yodel like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music until that same young woman achieved orgasm at the height of passion.

"Where did I go wrong," Schmidlapt asked this reporter. "I thought I had it all figured out. The chick-friendly performer, the age demographics, everything! In a perfect world, I would be getting laid right now."

He then brightened and said, "But don't count the old Schmidlapter out of the game yet though. Next month, a hot new band called the Scissor Sisters is coming to town for Pride Week. I'm sure I'll have better luck with that demographic. I've heard their song, I Don't Feel Like Dancin' and it's pretty catchy. The chick hasn't been born that doesn't dig the Bee Gees.

"Hey - how can I go wrong?"