Strong Support for Performing Arts Centre Amongst Vested Interest Groups
"Sure, bring it on!," says Abe Smith of the London Construction Association of the proposed new $100-million performing arts centre for downtown London.
"Just last week, me and the boys were talking after bowling how awesome it would be to tackle a project like that. Heck, it would be bigger than a bowling alley. And a job like that would keep the paychecks rolling in for at least a couple of years."
When asked if he and his work colleaques were excited about attending events in such a facility, Smith replied, "Performance Art - that's what we're talking about, right? Like when some guy comes out on stage naked and covered in chocolate and starts piercing his nipples while playing a zither? Sure, why not? That kinda stuff cracks me up. I wouldn't pay more n' ten bucks a ticket to see it though."
Over at the offices of Orchestra London - touted as being the primary tenant for any new performing arts centre, orchestra director and third violinist Josef Bloor said he looked forward to a new home for Orchestra London. "As long as the city subsidized the rent to the tune of 100 per-cent," added Gloor. "No way we could afford the rent on a new joint like that. Not with the audiences we bring in. You're in London, man."
Civic booster John Raleigh who also heads the London Hotel-Motel Association was similarly supportive. "Oh sure, that's cool. We usually have a few extra rooms anyway. Just in case there's a wedding and guests from out of town.
"Yeah, we can handle a few more tourists. You say this classical music and opera stuff is big with the tourists these days?"
However, the most vocal support for a new building to house a 1,500 plush-velvet seat theatre is London Free Press editor-in-chief Andy Atwood.
"Are you kidding?! This is great! This'll generate copy for years. You want proof people still read the Free Press? Just wait till you see all the mail in the Letters to the Editor section from tax-payers saying they don't want the damn thing."
When asked for confirmation of talk that a new performing arts centre could become the summer home of the Royal Winnipeg Ballet, Atwood laughed. "You've been talking to city-councillor Cord Flume, right? Is that what he's putting out this time round? The last time Cordo tried to get this thing to fly, he was telling people that Stratford was interested in getting London to co-host their Shakespearean Festival with them. Can you imagine?
"Well, I suppose anything's possible - but if there is such talk going on, you can be pretty damn sure it's only coming from Cord and not out of Winnipeg. Geez, a new Performing Arts Centre is just a pipe-dream at the moment. It's barely even an idea. It isn't even at the proposal stage - at least not on paper. The summer home of the Royal Winnipeg Ballet, eh? That's funny. Never say 'die', Cord!"
"But listen. I'll tell you this," says Atwood, turning serious for a moment. "If this thing ever does get built, it would be a good thing because it would finally give the Free Press fine-arts department something to do. Our opera critic, modern dance reviewer and classical music guy would actually have something to write about. Something for them to actually do. Damn unions."
When roused from his slumber, Free Press opera critic Egbert Hollandays said, "Oh, are they talking about that thing again? Believe me, that thing will never get built. And let me tell you why. Because after the federal, provincial and municipal governments have put in 75 per-cent of the cost, the private sector will have to pony up the remaining 25 per cent of the dough.
"Well, it's true that there are a lot of rich people in this town with more money than brains - but enough to donate $25 million? For opera? We ain't talking Bon Jovi tickets here, you know. No, they ain't that stupid.
"And another thing - this is all Cord Flume's baby. And he's on record saying that a performing arts centre WON'T make a profit. It can't even pay for itself. Or support itself. It's a fact that these things lose money hand over fist on a yearly basis and so they need what Cord is calling "an endowment fund" in place. And that's just to keep the place staffed and open. You gonna tell the tax-payers of this town they not only have to pay $75-million to build the thing and then pay every year just to keep it running? You gonna be the one to tell the tax-payers they'll be paying for opera for years when this town doesn't even have a world-class lacrosse facility? Good luck, brutha.
"Besides, other than a handful of opera extreamists and classical music wonks - and a few big-headed city councillors who want to leave their mark by having their names carved into a cornerstone, the sad truth is that no one in town wants this thing.
"Especially me.
"Unfortunately, the squeaky wheels always tend to get the grease at City Hall so sure, there's always the possibility. But God willing, not for another 10 years. I'll be retired by then and I can assure you there's no way I'm ever going to be darkening the doors of that White Elephant Room in the near future. Are you kidding? The way this town does anything, the sound will be atrocious. You wouldn't be able to pay me enough money to go into that place. I'd rather stay home and listen to Paparazzi on my stereo."
"Just last week, me and the boys were talking after bowling how awesome it would be to tackle a project like that. Heck, it would be bigger than a bowling alley. And a job like that would keep the paychecks rolling in for at least a couple of years."
When asked if he and his work colleaques were excited about attending events in such a facility, Smith replied, "Performance Art - that's what we're talking about, right? Like when some guy comes out on stage naked and covered in chocolate and starts piercing his nipples while playing a zither? Sure, why not? That kinda stuff cracks me up. I wouldn't pay more n' ten bucks a ticket to see it though."
Over at the offices of Orchestra London - touted as being the primary tenant for any new performing arts centre, orchestra director and third violinist Josef Bloor said he looked forward to a new home for Orchestra London. "As long as the city subsidized the rent to the tune of 100 per-cent," added Gloor. "No way we could afford the rent on a new joint like that. Not with the audiences we bring in. You're in London, man."
Civic booster John Raleigh who also heads the London Hotel-Motel Association was similarly supportive. "Oh sure, that's cool. We usually have a few extra rooms anyway. Just in case there's a wedding and guests from out of town.
"Yeah, we can handle a few more tourists. You say this classical music and opera stuff is big with the tourists these days?"
However, the most vocal support for a new building to house a 1,500 plush-velvet seat theatre is London Free Press editor-in-chief Andy Atwood.
"Are you kidding?! This is great! This'll generate copy for years. You want proof people still read the Free Press? Just wait till you see all the mail in the Letters to the Editor section from tax-payers saying they don't want the damn thing."
When asked for confirmation of talk that a new performing arts centre could become the summer home of the Royal Winnipeg Ballet, Atwood laughed. "You've been talking to city-councillor Cord Flume, right? Is that what he's putting out this time round? The last time Cordo tried to get this thing to fly, he was telling people that Stratford was interested in getting London to co-host their Shakespearean Festival with them. Can you imagine?
"Well, I suppose anything's possible - but if there is such talk going on, you can be pretty damn sure it's only coming from Cord and not out of Winnipeg. Geez, a new Performing Arts Centre is just a pipe-dream at the moment. It's barely even an idea. It isn't even at the proposal stage - at least not on paper. The summer home of the Royal Winnipeg Ballet, eh? That's funny. Never say 'die', Cord!"
"But listen. I'll tell you this," says Atwood, turning serious for a moment. "If this thing ever does get built, it would be a good thing because it would finally give the Free Press fine-arts department something to do. Our opera critic, modern dance reviewer and classical music guy would actually have something to write about. Something for them to actually do. Damn unions."
When roused from his slumber, Free Press opera critic Egbert Hollandays said, "Oh, are they talking about that thing again? Believe me, that thing will never get built. And let me tell you why. Because after the federal, provincial and municipal governments have put in 75 per-cent of the cost, the private sector will have to pony up the remaining 25 per cent of the dough.
"Well, it's true that there are a lot of rich people in this town with more money than brains - but enough to donate $25 million? For opera? We ain't talking Bon Jovi tickets here, you know. No, they ain't that stupid.
"And another thing - this is all Cord Flume's baby. And he's on record saying that a performing arts centre WON'T make a profit. It can't even pay for itself. Or support itself. It's a fact that these things lose money hand over fist on a yearly basis and so they need what Cord is calling "an endowment fund" in place. And that's just to keep the place staffed and open. You gonna tell the tax-payers of this town they not only have to pay $75-million to build the thing and then pay every year just to keep it running? You gonna be the one to tell the tax-payers they'll be paying for opera for years when this town doesn't even have a world-class lacrosse facility? Good luck, brutha.
"Besides, other than a handful of opera extreamists and classical music wonks - and a few big-headed city councillors who want to leave their mark by having their names carved into a cornerstone, the sad truth is that no one in town wants this thing.
"Especially me.
"Unfortunately, the squeaky wheels always tend to get the grease at City Hall so sure, there's always the possibility. But God willing, not for another 10 years. I'll be retired by then and I can assure you there's no way I'm ever going to be darkening the doors of that White Elephant Room in the near future. Are you kidding? The way this town does anything, the sound will be atrocious. You wouldn't be able to pay me enough money to go into that place. I'd rather stay home and listen to Paparazzi on my stereo."
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 8:44 AM
3 Comments:
Sonny, it's Panzarotti the opera singer, not Paparazzi.
Paparazzi is something that you order at Tony's Pizza in east London.
P.S. I've got you a well-paying, two-week gig in the Catskills, the first two weeks in December.
You're circumsized, aren't you?
Sonny, it's Panzarotti the opera singer, not Paparazzi.
Paparazzi is something that you order at Tony's Pizza in east London.
P.S. I've got you a well-paying, two-week gig in the Catskills, the first two weeks in December.
You're circumsized, aren't you?
Butch - you were at my bar-mitzvah.
Whattaya think?
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