Well, It's Over ...
After a relationship that has lasted over 25 years, I have ended my days with the London Free Press.
Yep. Yesterday, I cancelled my subscription.
Because on Sunday, for the second Sunday in a row - and the third time in eight days, I didn't get my paper.
When it happened a week ago, I called up and complained about being missed two days in a row. I was assured that they would look into the matter. Now, normally, if I don't get my paper, I don't worry about it - because it's the London Free Press and generally there isn't anything worthwhile reading in it anyway other than The Funnies. And even then ...
It's just not worth the trouble and aggravation of spending five minutes trying to get through on the phone to complain. That's because you dial the number for home delivery service only to get a recorded message telling you to dial another number if you didn't get your paper that day. And if you are dialing from a rotary phone, well forget it. In fact, I'm positive I heard the woman's voice on the recording say "If you are calling from a rotary telephone then fuck you, you're out of luck. Go get your news from the Town Crier."
But I called anyway. Because I was maddern' tarnation. And the Customer Service guy - the same guy I talked to last time - listens to my concerns and asks, "Well before you cancel, would you like our Distribution Supervisor to speak to your carrier?"
And I says, "NO. That should have been done last week!"
And he says, "Oh, in that case, this will terminate our relationship."
"FINE!" I says.
And just like that it was over. I then picked up that morning's Free Press. The first edition of the much ballyhooed "Redesign" and asked myself, "Shit, why didn't I do this years ago?" I tell you, even including the Weekend Sports results, it was about 20 pages long. I've seen thicker grocery flyers.
For you out-of-staters who may be reading this, for the London Free Press - a much publicized and focus-grouped "ReDesign" means taking your 'City and District News' section, formerly known as 'Section 2' and making it now 'Section 1' while moving the old Section 1 (formerly known as 'Canada and the World News,) to the position in the paper formerly held by Section 2.
Only in London.
I tell ya, this is such a lame-ass move, it could only happen here in Hicksville, Ohio.
And in fact, it once did. A number of years ago, our one and only local Television station changed their promotional slogan with similar fanfare. They changed it from "London You Turn Us On!" to "You Turn Us On, London!"
Of course when you are the only major newspaper or television station in town, you can get away with such stuff. Some might call it arrogance. Or a lack of imagination. But the sad reality is that it's just laziness. And I've got almost 20 pages from my last copy of the London Free Press to prove it.
Yep. Yesterday, I cancelled my subscription.
Because on Sunday, for the second Sunday in a row - and the third time in eight days, I didn't get my paper.
When it happened a week ago, I called up and complained about being missed two days in a row. I was assured that they would look into the matter. Now, normally, if I don't get my paper, I don't worry about it - because it's the London Free Press and generally there isn't anything worthwhile reading in it anyway other than The Funnies. And even then ...
It's just not worth the trouble and aggravation of spending five minutes trying to get through on the phone to complain. That's because you dial the number for home delivery service only to get a recorded message telling you to dial another number if you didn't get your paper that day. And if you are dialing from a rotary phone, well forget it. In fact, I'm positive I heard the woman's voice on the recording say "If you are calling from a rotary telephone then fuck you, you're out of luck. Go get your news from the Town Crier."
But I called anyway. Because I was maddern' tarnation. And the Customer Service guy - the same guy I talked to last time - listens to my concerns and asks, "Well before you cancel, would you like our Distribution Supervisor to speak to your carrier?"
And I says, "NO. That should have been done last week!"
And he says, "Oh, in that case, this will terminate our relationship."
"FINE!" I says.
And just like that it was over. I then picked up that morning's Free Press. The first edition of the much ballyhooed "Redesign" and asked myself, "Shit, why didn't I do this years ago?" I tell you, even including the Weekend Sports results, it was about 20 pages long. I've seen thicker grocery flyers.
For you out-of-staters who may be reading this, for the London Free Press - a much publicized and focus-grouped "ReDesign" means taking your 'City and District News' section, formerly known as 'Section 2' and making it now 'Section 1' while moving the old Section 1 (formerly known as 'Canada and the World News,) to the position in the paper formerly held by Section 2.
Only in London.
I tell ya, this is such a lame-ass move, it could only happen here in Hicksville, Ohio.
And in fact, it once did. A number of years ago, our one and only local Television station changed their promotional slogan with similar fanfare. They changed it from "London You Turn Us On!" to "You Turn Us On, London!"
Of course when you are the only major newspaper or television station in town, you can get away with such stuff. Some might call it arrogance. Or a lack of imagination. But the sad reality is that it's just laziness. And I've got almost 20 pages from my last copy of the London Free Press to prove it.
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 10:50 AM
5 Comments:
Sonny, I admire your resolve. But why pay for something that you can get free online?
And there's no question the product is ever-diminishing in value.
Because I like to take the Funnies into the bathroom with me.
It bothers me not knowing what's going on in that 'Retail' strip. And the story-line in 'Rex Morgan, M.D.' was finally beginning to yield gold.
Nope. I should have cancelled after they dropped 'Peanuts.'
Just set up your computer in The John. Best office in the whirld. It's where I conduct all my important business.
Aren't those comic strips available somewhere online?
Comics definitely available on line. The Houston Chronicle is the paper we swear by.
Thanks for the recommendo, Doug.
A nice selection of comics they have in Houston. Good to see that Dick Tracey is still on the job.
All that's missing is Marla from 'Retail' and a daily 'Zits.' That Jeremy kid cracks me up.
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