Free Press Disappointed to Have Non-Story Confirmed as Not Being a Story
London Free Press editor Margaret Atwood Jr. expressed disappointment today when this morning's front page story about London's Mayor Anne Marie using questionable ethics in pouring beer at her husband's sports bar was deemed a non-story by this town's foremost political authority, Andrew Sanction of the University of Western Ontario.
Atwood Jr. expressed disbelief at the lack of outrage over the fact that this town's most public personality was willing to be seen waiting on and serving the public in hubbie Tim Best's Friday Knights Live sports bar & great place to get wings.
In their attempt at mountain-building from molehills, Atwood Jr. went on to point out some of the other damning scandalous behavior documented in the Free Press in their investigative piece -
- particularly the headline item "Shopping frenzy at a Zellers store that left other customers in the dust!"
Turns out that not long ago, Her Worship, husband and a few friends stood in line outside a Zellers department store so they could snatch up the advertized "Door-Crasher Specials" on cheap patio chairs offered to anyone lacking in anything better to do at 8:00 on a Saturday morning.
Most galling of all was that the Mayor and Mr. Anne Marie, gleefully admitted that the chairs would be put to good use at Friday Nights Live.
"Seriously," queried Mr. Atwood Jr. - "is this any way for our Mayor to act?! Door-crasher specials? Racing through the store to get them before the other customers? Is that how democracy works? ... And c'mon - *Zellers*? Honestly - do they not have any door-crasher specials on lawn-chairs at The Bay? Tsk-tsk."
As usual, the Free Press missed the whole point of this story.
Instead of whether the Mayor's helping out in her husband's business was a conflict of interest (?), the more obvious question is whether or not, we as tax-payers in the City of London couldn't do a little better by the head of our Corporation than by simply paying her a little more money so she wouldn't have to be concerned about door-crasher specials on lawn chairs.
Maybe if we all sat down and thought about it, we'd come up with the obvious solution - that maybe if we paid her enough, then maybe the Mayor wouldn't have to have a part-time job working behind the bar pouring beer and putting melted Velveeta on nachos for a bunch of dumb lout sports jocks.
I mean, what's next? Slinging hash? Taking in laundry? I don't want to even think about the inevitable Free Press expose on her garage-sale spending habits.
Perhaps all us tax-payers should get together and suggest a raise.
... now that I think of it, there's a lot of fun to be had in a story like this and I hope one of our town's resident humorists get to it pronto.
For instance - if you go into Friday Knight Live and happen to be waited on by The Mayor, how much do you tip her? Or do you tip her at all? Or do you quickly down your beer before her eyes and say, "Sorry, I just got my property-tax bill in the mail today - you've already got enough of my money."
And how about if there's sloppy service? I look forward to the day I can have the mayor of my town draw me a pitcher off the draught pumps and then say, "Hey, Your Worship - how 'bout putting a head on this?"
Reminds me of the time I first met ex-Mayor Diane Haskett at one of Herman G's infamous Christmas parties. H and K's Christmas do's are always coveted invitation-only and thusly well-crowded events - even the stairs and the hallway are packed.
Half-way through the night, says me to Her Holiness Lady Mayor Diane - "Hey Your Worship - you're blockin' the door to the friggin' can!"
Atwood Jr. expressed disbelief at the lack of outrage over the fact that this town's most public personality was willing to be seen waiting on and serving the public in hubbie Tim Best's Friday Knights Live sports bar & great place to get wings.
In their attempt at mountain-building from molehills, Atwood Jr. went on to point out some of the other damning scandalous behavior documented in the Free Press in their investigative piece -
- particularly the headline item "Shopping frenzy at a Zellers store that left other customers in the dust!"
Turns out that not long ago, Her Worship, husband and a few friends stood in line outside a Zellers department store so they could snatch up the advertized "Door-Crasher Specials" on cheap patio chairs offered to anyone lacking in anything better to do at 8:00 on a Saturday morning.
Most galling of all was that the Mayor and Mr. Anne Marie, gleefully admitted that the chairs would be put to good use at Friday Nights Live.
"Seriously," queried Mr. Atwood Jr. - "is this any way for our Mayor to act?! Door-crasher specials? Racing through the store to get them before the other customers? Is that how democracy works? ... And c'mon - *Zellers*? Honestly - do they not have any door-crasher specials on lawn-chairs at The Bay? Tsk-tsk."
As usual, the Free Press missed the whole point of this story.
Instead of whether the Mayor's helping out in her husband's business was a conflict of interest (?), the more obvious question is whether or not, we as tax-payers in the City of London couldn't do a little better by the head of our Corporation than by simply paying her a little more money so she wouldn't have to be concerned about door-crasher specials on lawn chairs.
Maybe if we all sat down and thought about it, we'd come up with the obvious solution - that maybe if we paid her enough, then maybe the Mayor wouldn't have to have a part-time job working behind the bar pouring beer and putting melted Velveeta on nachos for a bunch of dumb lout sports jocks.
I mean, what's next? Slinging hash? Taking in laundry? I don't want to even think about the inevitable Free Press expose on her garage-sale spending habits.
Perhaps all us tax-payers should get together and suggest a raise.
... now that I think of it, there's a lot of fun to be had in a story like this and I hope one of our town's resident humorists get to it pronto.
For instance - if you go into Friday Knight Live and happen to be waited on by The Mayor, how much do you tip her? Or do you tip her at all? Or do you quickly down your beer before her eyes and say, "Sorry, I just got my property-tax bill in the mail today - you've already got enough of my money."
And how about if there's sloppy service? I look forward to the day I can have the mayor of my town draw me a pitcher off the draught pumps and then say, "Hey, Your Worship - how 'bout putting a head on this?"
Reminds me of the time I first met ex-Mayor Diane Haskett at one of Herman G's infamous Christmas parties. H and K's Christmas do's are always coveted invitation-only and thusly well-crowded events - even the stairs and the hallway are packed.
Half-way through the night, says me to Her Holiness Lady Mayor Diane - "Hey Your Worship - you're blockin' the door to the friggin' can!"
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 10:03 AM
11 Comments:
Frankly, Sonny, I'm surprised that you didn't mention the pole dancing every Saturday night at Friday Nights Lights.
And you know who is swinging around the ol' May Pole?
That's right, Tim Best's first wife, Doreen.
Honey Pot - is that you again?
The ol' switch-the-name trick.
That's almost the second time I've fallen for that this week.
You've got to get up p-p-p-r-r-r-e-e-e-t-t-t-y-y-y early in the morning to fool Sonny Drysddale.
If you weren't working as a window washer on skyscrapers in downtown London, I'd suggest that you become a Private Eye.
Sheconded!
Being of sane mind and healthy body, I, Butch (The Beast) McLarty, hereby grant the copyright of the name "Honey Pot Sugar Scoop" to Elaine Murray of London, Ontario, for a term of 12 months, without encumbrance or charge.
© Honey Pot Sugar Scoop
glad to see yr back in biznez, Butch.
I know that imitation is the purest form of flattery, but fuck off Barry, you annoy me.
You can't do it anyway, you're missing that creativity streak, that is necessary to pull it off.
You did well with that story Sonny.
HP, you are a pathetic excuse for a human being.
You don't annoy me, you disappoint me and disgrace all of your ancestors with your brain-dead comments.
Grow up, turdball
disappoint you? hahahahahahahahahah
Sounds like you been hanging with the glowtards for way too long and drinking their Kopi Luwak coffee.
How is that deader than a fucking doornail website you got going on, going on?
I don't know how you can afford to run it on just your old age pension cheque as renvenue.
So empty-headed, so vacuous, so childish and boring, Honey Pot.
I really wonder how you can live inside that puss-filled cranium of yours, day after day.
For that, you have my deepest sympathy.
I can't imagine what it must be like for you to go through life misunderstanding everything that occurs around you, stereotyping people like an ignorant Mississippi redneck/ hillbilly.
You're like a brain-dead, mangy dog that never stops barking and foaming at the mouth.
Go see your vet, pronto.
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