O Superman
Some fun facts about the new Superman movie.
Put him in a brightly-coloured spandex suit with a red cape and a full toupee and Nicholas Cage looks twenty years younger. And 50 pounds lighter.
Even dead, Marlon Brando steals scenes from everyone in this movie.
Superman's secret retreat, his 'sanctom sanctorum' - the Fortress of Solitude where he goes to hide and hang out for years on end, is actually the freezer room in the Baskin-Robbins back home in Smallville.
All of Clark Kent's close friends and co-workers have guessed his secret identity because he's constantly referring to his '63 Camaro as "the Supe-mobile."
Superman has to take back Jimmy Olson's "Emergencies Only" secret wrist-watch communicator, after Supe is getting hot and heavy with Lois Lane and at just the wrong moment is summoned by Jimmy - who wants him to fly around the world real fast to reverse time just far enough back so that he doesn't have to pay the late-fees at Blockbuster on his DVD copy of Debbie Does Daredevil.
Superman teams up with Batman, Neil from The Matrix and that Jesus guy from The Passion to kick some serious Al-Quaida butt.
Superman doesn't let on about his coolest super power and lets Wonder Woman fly him to the 7-11 all the time in her invisible plane. He also doesn't even try to break free when she lassoes and ties him up with that fancy lariat.
Oh sure, he's the Man of Steel. But when he hurts, he breaks just like a little girl.
Spoiler alert: stay until the very end of the closing credits. Turns out the bald guy is still alive and recovering in a hospital.
Put him in a brightly-coloured spandex suit with a red cape and a full toupee and Nicholas Cage looks twenty years younger. And 50 pounds lighter.
Even dead, Marlon Brando steals scenes from everyone in this movie.
Superman's secret retreat, his 'sanctom sanctorum' - the Fortress of Solitude where he goes to hide and hang out for years on end, is actually the freezer room in the Baskin-Robbins back home in Smallville.
All of Clark Kent's close friends and co-workers have guessed his secret identity because he's constantly referring to his '63 Camaro as "the Supe-mobile."
Superman has to take back Jimmy Olson's "Emergencies Only" secret wrist-watch communicator, after Supe is getting hot and heavy with Lois Lane and at just the wrong moment is summoned by Jimmy - who wants him to fly around the world real fast to reverse time just far enough back so that he doesn't have to pay the late-fees at Blockbuster on his DVD copy of Debbie Does Daredevil.
Superman teams up with Batman, Neil from The Matrix and that Jesus guy from The Passion to kick some serious Al-Quaida butt.
Superman doesn't let on about his coolest super power and lets Wonder Woman fly him to the 7-11 all the time in her invisible plane. He also doesn't even try to break free when she lassoes and ties him up with that fancy lariat.
Oh sure, he's the Man of Steel. But when he hurts, he breaks just like a little girl.
Spoiler alert: stay until the very end of the closing credits. Turns out the bald guy is still alive and recovering in a hospital.
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 6:08 AM
7 Comments:
Personally, I'm hoping that I've earned enough good karma NOT to be treated like the neighbourhood football in the next life, but if I am going to get kicked around, I may as well come back as Dick Milhouse Nixon.
Thanks for the update, Sonny, but the last movie I saw in a movie theatre was The Guns of Navarone.
I'm simply too busy oggling my beloved wife Betty as she frolics in the yard.
Honey Pot - there are no balls to be found on this site. Although a year ago before my hernia operation, I can assure you that I had the biggest balls in town.
You will have to go to the new & improved AltLondon to discuss those topics and all municipal election/all the time matters.
This site is dedicated to the idea that there is no topic too dull, boring or mundane. I'm still working on a big piece about dryer lint.
Honey Pot, start your own blog, if you haven't already.
I'll drop in to give you a lick from time to time. You can call the blog, "Honey Pot's Dew Drop In" or "Honey Pot's Brown Sugar."
Honey Pot, I'm not talking about voting you off the island, I'm saying for those real gritty issues such as the drug problems in downtown and Old East, why not let it rip on a blog of your own -- but still posting here.
I think a visual of you on your own blog dressed in leathers as a dominatrix would be extremely enchanting ... Do you have any of those pics available?
Pops - what do you mean, "trying" to be Superman? Haven't you seen the movie yet?
OK, Sonny, now I get it. You were posting on the old old altlondon as "Rotating Piston Hips."
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