Flattened Squirrel Update

Regular readers of this blog (all three of you - "Hiiii kids!") will be happy to hear that there has been some movement on the dead squirrel story featured in my March 25th post. At that time, poor Rotty J. Squirrel had lay stiff as a board near the curb of Perry and Stanley streets for nigh on a week and getting flatter with every day and car that rounded the corner. .... Well, God forbid someone from the City come out and scoop up the poor guy's pancaked carcass and toss him into the back of a City Works truck. ... So I decided to leave the matter in the hands of my fellow man, knowing that Earth Day was approaching and no self-respecting tree-hugger would let such an indignity continue in this neighbourhood. ..... Well, today is Earth Day and let's just say that the local do-gooders are great at picking up stray pop-cans and other assorted litter - but a dead squirrel?!? "Eeeuuuww - how gross!".... So I took matters in my own hands. Got a shovel, dug a grave in my wife's front garden, scooped him up, tossed him in an old shoe-box, mumbled some sacred shit about what a fine squirrel he was (his lack of fear when it came to cars notwithstanding,) and buried him next to my old pet-squirrel, Sparky. .... You know, I've always wondered what happens to squirrels when they die. Now I know. The good news is that I got thank-you notes from both June Foray and Rotty's mom. .... But next time some green environmentalist complains to me about filling up my SUV while wearing my mink coat, I'm gonna put a dead rodent's head in their bed. Trust me, I know where to get one and I know how to use it.