The Circus is Back in Town!
Lock up your daughters and municipal-tax funds, folks - the Circus is back in town!
Big news that the Shriners - after having decided on Montreal as the site for their new childrens'
hospital a couple of years ago - are getting impatient at that city for dragging its feet in the clean-up of the contaminated proposed site for the hospital and so the head-honcho Shriners are "seriously" thinking of making runner-up London the home of their new $100-million hospital.
Well, fuck me dead Lois, but you coulda knocked me over with a feather at that news. Or as they say in La Belle Provence - "Quel surprise!"
Even when it was 'over' when the Shriners made their final decision at their 2005 convention, local fundraising guy Tony Baloney said, "This isn't over. There's still hope." Of course that's what you would expect to hear from a professional fellatio-master. At this most recent news that the Shriners were still considering London, Tony B. could not be reached for comment - because he was too busy wetting himself with 'excitement.'
Not that there's the slightest chance of this ever happening of course. This is just yet another way for the top-dog Shriner guys to come to town and get some free lunches while they further study the "feasability" of London as a site. And Tony B. isn't alone in the wet panties department - don't you just know Mayor Anne-Marie and all those Chamber of Commerce types will be going out their way when it comes to ass-kissing at this latest wink from the powers-that-be at Shriners Incorporated.
Personally, I say to hell with them. I say we tell 'em "Look, you had your chance to swing with us before and you blew it. We ain't spending another dollar on you freeloading bullshit artists and we don't give a fez. Now take your circus cars full of hot air and camel dung and get out of town. Because this gravy train done left the station."
Now, before I'm accused of being anti-charity or anti-cult or anti-dorky hats, let me put this whole thing into perspective in terms that people can relate to - we've been diddled around enough by these professional cock-teasers.
Consider this scenario - a hot new chick comes to town. You take her out and show her the sights. You wine and dine her. Shortly after, she promises to be your steady. But after you've shared the news with your Mom and all your friends, she informs you that even tho she still likes you, now she wants to see other fellas.
Well, you would feel hurt, cheated and pissed off. Well, that's the way a lot of Londoners felt two years ago at the news that even tho we had been all but promised the new Shriners hospital by that organization's site-selection committee, an international convention of Shriners then decided to reconsider re-vamped bids by Ottawa and Montreal. Because Montreal decided to offer a $5-million donation. It became a bidding war where none existed before. Previously, it had been considered a done-deal that London would be the site.
Going back to my original comparison, that's like asking the prettiest girl in school to be your date for the prom and then the week before the big dance she tells you that she isn't sure she still wants to go with you. She's since had better offers. "Well, you see, Joe Ottawa has a bigger car than you. And Joe Montreal has a bigger wallet than yours. So how 'bout it, Joe London? What do you have to offer?" ... And even tho you have really big feet, it doesn't matter - because you've already been screwed.
No offence to the Shriners as a fine and worthy organization, but have these people no shame? Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned notion that you left the dance with the fella that brought you?
This latest bit of speculation that London might still be in the running - and the inevitable "make us a better offer" nonsense should be met with nothing less than a cold shoulder and an indifferent 'fuck you.' What's on the table is something more important than a $100-million hospital. It's called self-respect. Unfortunately that's a concept this town has never heard of before.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of any charitable group that can raise money for sick kids by wearing cone-shaped hats and curly-toed slippers while driving around in funny little cars - but at what price?
This is hardly the first time this has happened to London. A few years ago, we spent millions on trying to land the 2007 International Junior Hockey Championships. Instead, they were given to Vancouver because they were able to offer a more lucrative deal to the organizers. And again, we were led on and led to believe that we really had a chance - but that we might want to sweeten the pot a little bit first. And so Mayor Anne-Marie and the usual professional fund-raising and Chamber of Commerce types did indeed raise the ante - to the point that if games were awarded to us, we would be paying for them for another decade.
Like this new bit about the Shriners, we should have said right then - "Sorry but we don't do business like that," - and walked away with our pride and dignity intact. Instead, our city council approved a very big guarantee of $$$ to the organizers. Luckily, it wasn't big enough and the games went to Vancouver - a city that has a bigger arena with more seats than London - and had also been just awarded the upcoming Winter Olympics no less. And B.C. taxpayers will be paying them both off for decades.
Good ol' London. ever the bridesmaid, never the bride.
Which is fine with me. It's time this town stopped trying to compete with the big boys and pretending that we're in their league. Because we're not.
You know, sometimes I think the only reason I still live in this hick town is because it's also the home to my few friends and family. But the truth is that everytime I go away, I miss it. And I'm always happy to be back. I like it here.
So instead of trying to be something we aren't (an exciting version of Missisaugua,) we should concentrate and celebrate what we are - the biggest small town in Canada. And one of the best.
Does Montreal have a Wortley Village? No.
Does Montreal have a London Ice Cream Company? No.
Does Montreal have a Nihilist Spasm Band (even tho I can't stand 'em)? No.
Does Montreal have a city bus where the destination is surrealisticly named - Wonderland - ? No.
Does Montreal have a festival for every weekend of the summer?
Noooooooo!
Well then, let the babies have their bottle! We're already the winners. And as soon as London realizes that, it won't be long till they'll be begging us to let them build their hospitals and hold their hockey tournaments here.
Big news that the Shriners - after having decided on Montreal as the site for their new childrens'
hospital a couple of years ago - are getting impatient at that city for dragging its feet in the clean-up of the contaminated proposed site for the hospital and so the head-honcho Shriners are "seriously" thinking of making runner-up London the home of their new $100-million hospital.
Well, fuck me dead Lois, but you coulda knocked me over with a feather at that news. Or as they say in La Belle Provence - "Quel surprise!"
Even when it was 'over' when the Shriners made their final decision at their 2005 convention, local fundraising guy Tony Baloney said, "This isn't over. There's still hope." Of course that's what you would expect to hear from a professional fellatio-master. At this most recent news that the Shriners were still considering London, Tony B. could not be reached for comment - because he was too busy wetting himself with 'excitement.'
Not that there's the slightest chance of this ever happening of course. This is just yet another way for the top-dog Shriner guys to come to town and get some free lunches while they further study the "feasability" of London as a site. And Tony B. isn't alone in the wet panties department - don't you just know Mayor Anne-Marie and all those Chamber of Commerce types will be going out their way when it comes to ass-kissing at this latest wink from the powers-that-be at Shriners Incorporated.
Personally, I say to hell with them. I say we tell 'em "Look, you had your chance to swing with us before and you blew it. We ain't spending another dollar on you freeloading bullshit artists and we don't give a fez. Now take your circus cars full of hot air and camel dung and get out of town. Because this gravy train done left the station."
Now, before I'm accused of being anti-charity or anti-cult or anti-dorky hats, let me put this whole thing into perspective in terms that people can relate to - we've been diddled around enough by these professional cock-teasers.
Consider this scenario - a hot new chick comes to town. You take her out and show her the sights. You wine and dine her. Shortly after, she promises to be your steady. But after you've shared the news with your Mom and all your friends, she informs you that even tho she still likes you, now she wants to see other fellas.
Well, you would feel hurt, cheated and pissed off. Well, that's the way a lot of Londoners felt two years ago at the news that even tho we had been all but promised the new Shriners hospital by that organization's site-selection committee, an international convention of Shriners then decided to reconsider re-vamped bids by Ottawa and Montreal. Because Montreal decided to offer a $5-million donation. It became a bidding war where none existed before. Previously, it had been considered a done-deal that London would be the site.
Going back to my original comparison, that's like asking the prettiest girl in school to be your date for the prom and then the week before the big dance she tells you that she isn't sure she still wants to go with you. She's since had better offers. "Well, you see, Joe Ottawa has a bigger car than you. And Joe Montreal has a bigger wallet than yours. So how 'bout it, Joe London? What do you have to offer?" ... And even tho you have really big feet, it doesn't matter - because you've already been screwed.
No offence to the Shriners as a fine and worthy organization, but have these people no shame? Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned notion that you left the dance with the fella that brought you?
This latest bit of speculation that London might still be in the running - and the inevitable "make us a better offer" nonsense should be met with nothing less than a cold shoulder and an indifferent 'fuck you.' What's on the table is something more important than a $100-million hospital. It's called self-respect. Unfortunately that's a concept this town has never heard of before.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of any charitable group that can raise money for sick kids by wearing cone-shaped hats and curly-toed slippers while driving around in funny little cars - but at what price?
This is hardly the first time this has happened to London. A few years ago, we spent millions on trying to land the 2007 International Junior Hockey Championships. Instead, they were given to Vancouver because they were able to offer a more lucrative deal to the organizers. And again, we were led on and led to believe that we really had a chance - but that we might want to sweeten the pot a little bit first. And so Mayor Anne-Marie and the usual professional fund-raising and Chamber of Commerce types did indeed raise the ante - to the point that if games were awarded to us, we would be paying for them for another decade.
Like this new bit about the Shriners, we should have said right then - "Sorry but we don't do business like that," - and walked away with our pride and dignity intact. Instead, our city council approved a very big guarantee of $$$ to the organizers. Luckily, it wasn't big enough and the games went to Vancouver - a city that has a bigger arena with more seats than London - and had also been just awarded the upcoming Winter Olympics no less. And B.C. taxpayers will be paying them both off for decades.
Good ol' London. ever the bridesmaid, never the bride.
Which is fine with me. It's time this town stopped trying to compete with the big boys and pretending that we're in their league. Because we're not.
You know, sometimes I think the only reason I still live in this hick town is because it's also the home to my few friends and family. But the truth is that everytime I go away, I miss it. And I'm always happy to be back. I like it here.
So instead of trying to be something we aren't (an exciting version of Missisaugua,) we should concentrate and celebrate what we are - the biggest small town in Canada. And one of the best.
Does Montreal have a Wortley Village? No.
Does Montreal have a London Ice Cream Company? No.
Does Montreal have a Nihilist Spasm Band (even tho I can't stand 'em)? No.
Does Montreal have a city bus where the destination is surrealisticly named - Wonderland - ? No.
Does Montreal have a festival for every weekend of the summer?
Noooooooo!
Well then, let the babies have their bottle! We're already the winners. And as soon as London realizes that, it won't be long till they'll be begging us to let them build their hospitals and hold their hockey tournaments here.
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 2:49 AM
16 Comments:
You nailed it again in your own twisted fashion, Sonny. It's downright embarrassing to watch London's Leading Lights become mere fart-catchers whenever the Big City Slickers come calling. I find it maddening to watch our tax dollars thrown at Canada Games, Memorial Cups, etc. etc. - all without any appreciable benefit to the city (so far as my tax assessment can tell).
Now, I wouldn't put the Shriners into the same dungheap o' welfare bums, but I can't bear to see everyone get all breathy (again) over the next-to-nil chances of London snagging the Children's Hospital. I'd love to see it happen, but it ain't gonna. and I don't have much respect for an organization that's so fucked up as to ignore the unanimous choice of 2 separate selection committees.
Yep, when it comes to making multi-million dollar decisions, I think I would stick with the opinion of the experts - rather than a convention hall full of drunken middleaged men who just want to get the vote over with as quickly as possible so they can get back to goosing waitresses and winking at hat-check girls.
Slut? Wat dat? If you say so sweet pea.
Honey Pot, you've made the foolish assertion that the only information served up by Alt-London is NDP propaganda.
How does that explain the news links from practically every news producing organization in the world, including Canadian Press, Associated Press, AFP, Reuters, UPI, CTV, CBC, the BBC and all the major and not-s-major newspapers across the world.
Christ, I even ran an article by Dr. Tim Ball, climate change denier, that was posted on the right-wing news site, Canada Free Press, about a week-and-a-half ago.
Facts? You wouldn't aknowledge a fact if it jumped up and bit your ass.
But keep lurking on the site, HP. I'd love to have you back, but frankly, your absurd posts sterotyping all Muslims could attract hate crime investigators and I don't need it.
I also find the posts offensive.
Oh, Butch is okay. He just hangs with some pretty dubious (clueless) company over there to Alt.London.
Butch, soon as I hear back from Barbara Kay at the National Post, I'll be back and tell you exactly who Suzuki gets his so-called non-existent corporate funding from them. (Good luck finding it on Suzuki's own site.) I'll show them. I'll show them all!
Ahem, Sonny, I'm somewhat reluctant to point it out but if you look around the room HERE (forget altlondon), there's a bona fide lunatic by the name of Honey Pot in here with you.
I tossed her because she wouldn't stop making outrageous and inflammatory comments about Muslims and their faith.
I could care less whether or not she agrees with me on anything political.
She's a buffoon who ignorantly stereotypes all Muslims as either terrorists or terrorist sympathizers, a clown who mistakenly categorizes Islam as a religion inciting murder and says it should be outlawed and a nut who blatantly tries to put words in people's mouths (she calls herself a slut not me) and disingenuously calls people anti-Semetic without even a shred of evidence.
She either makes things up or twists them to suit her own ends. It never ends. Now I'm a mysogonist, according to Honey Pot. Then I'm anti-Semetic. It's all horseshit and she knows it, but it's the ramblings of a seriously diseased and toxic mind
Is criticizing the Bush administration, anti-American? (Fifty per cent of Americans disagree with the policies of the Bush administration.)
Is criticizing Harper, anti-Canadian? Hardly.
Criticizing the actions of any government does not represent hostility to the people, just as criticizing the State of Israel, for example, does not constitute anti-Semeticism.
But debating Honey Pot is a waste of time, always has been and always will be, because she is an Internet troll whose sole purpose is to lie, distort, disrupt, twist, annoy, aggravate, institgate, in a weird attempt to attract attention to herself.
She has zero credibility because she approaches every subject from a point of view of ignorance.
That kind of clueless I can do without.
I'll let you two work it out amongst yourselves.
And for the record Honey Slop, I have several Jewish and Muslim friends -- and our friendship has nothing to do with their faith, it's based on nomal human qualities such as warmth, comraderie and shared interests.
I also have a huge vinyl collection of Jewsish folk songs that I regularly listen to and love.
And your smear that Muslim women cannot look into the eyes of a man is silly and false, in my direct, first-hand experience.
Through my friendship with noted London artist, Philip Aziz (a Lebanese Christian), I've attended several feasts at the Islamic Centre of Southwestern Ontario and the men and women interreact normally and with gusto.
Everyone was and is extremely friendly, outgoing, down-to-earth and fun. Lovely, lovely people.
You're smear accustations that these people are either terrorists or terrorist sympathizers because most of them are Muslims -- or that their faith should be outlawed -- is ignorant, crass and vile. In no way does their faith or The Koran counsel them to murder anybody, including Jews, as you have asserted.
Your unwelcome views reveal an inherent sense of bigotry and discrimination that I and most people would find extremely offensive.
Grow up and learn.
Trout, that's got nothing to do with it.
I don't care if Honey Pot prefers sushi to sausage. I say all the power to her. Some of my best friends are Bull Dykes.
What I object to is her repeated and ongoing hate mongering about Muslims and their faith.
And yes, Honey Pot, I have several copies of The Koran and have read it several times during the past 35 years.
I suspect that you've got Anton LaVey's version (Church of Satan) or you're misinterpreting it, just as many people misinterpret The Holy Bible.
I'll refer your posts to Faisal Joseph and you can deal with him on the matter. He works for Lerner's and is a spokesperson for the local Muslim community.
You can tell him that his religion should be outlawed as a death cult. I'm sure that he'll be quite interested in the matter.
Honey Pot, you've often stated your anti-censorship and free speech views, but now you want to outlaw Islam as a religion, calling it a "death cult" and calling The Koran "a crock of shit, hate mongering and very dangerous."
What do you propose, banning The Koran, burning all copies of The Koran and arresting those that have a copy or want to read it?
When will you arrest London's 30,000 Muslims. At home in the middle of the night? At their mosques when they're praying? When they're on their way to work?
What will the charges be? Owning or reading The Koran? Being a Muslim?
You say The Koran counsels Muslims to kill Jews.
Why have no such crimes been committed in London, Ontario, or in Canada for that matter? Are London or Canadian Muslims not good Muslims or is your interpretation of their holy book wrong? Perhaps you're even suffering from dementia? That could be your defense, eh Honey Pot?
Why not issue a press release that you want to outlaw Islam as a religion and ban The Koran?
Any other books that you think should be banned? What about Alt-London? Perhaps that Web site should be banned. Then it could be replaced by a Web site created by one of your White Supremicist friends.
Let's get your views out there Honey Pot. I can help you in this regard. Would the front page of The London Free Press work for you? Top of the news on the A-Channel. Would that be a good place to explain your vile bigotry?
Hey, Nazi Martin Weiche who lives in Hyde Park might agree with you. He's nuts but he'd be supportive. Might even donate $500 to your defence fund.
You could argue free speech while also demanding that The Koran be banned. That would seal the insanity defence.
You can save the world with your vile, blatant, hatemongering.
You could be a champion of the White Power movement the world over. Hoeny Pot, you will soon be very famous, for at least 15 minutes.
We'll get you hooked up with Faisel Joseph to discuss it with him. With any luck the Freeps and the A-Channel will give it lots of coverage.
They can determine if you're inciting hate for any one identifiable group.
Honey Pot, you rarely if ever get down to the nitty gritty of your zenophobic views.
You say The Koran incites hatred towards those of other religions.
Why then have many people of the Christian faith been received so warmly at the Islamic Centre of Soputhwestern Ontario and the Mosque on Oxford Street West?
I've seen it with my own eyes on more than one occasion.
I've seen a United Church minister -- Rev. Tom Hiscox of Wesley-Knox United Church -- speak to a large group of Muslims at the Centre, as well as the Bishop of Huron.
Why were they invited to speak and why were they not killed by the group of Muslims who read The Koran regularly?
Why is that Honey Pot?
Could it be that your interpretation of their holy book is out to lunch?
Could it be that you're out to lunch? i.e., A bitter bitter person who doesn't know shit from Shineola?
The Koran, Chapter 3, The Family of Imran
[3.7] He it is Who has revealed the Book to you; some of its verses are decisive, they are the basis of the Book, and others are allegorical; then as for those in whose hearts there is perversity they follow the part of it which is allegorical, seeking to mislead and seeking to give it (their own) interpretation. But none knows its interpretation except Allah, and those who are firmly rooted in knowledge say: We believe in it, it is all from our Lord; and none do mind except those having understanding.
This refers to you, Honey Pot:
"then as for those in whose hearts there is perversity they follow the part of it which is allegorical, seeking to mislead and seeking to give it (their own) interpretation."
Actually I prefer to just keep out of it, DT.
I'm still scratching my head wondering what the heck it has to do with the Shriners and their kids hospital.
HONEY POT: the bigot who thinks like a terrorist
Honey Pot, I'll say this about your nonsensical bigotry and lack of understanding.
There's many many ways to interpret The Holy Bible, The Koran and The Torah -- all religious teachings that purport the be "the word of God."
This is evidenced by the number of sects and denominations within each particular religion.
But you, a relatively unschooled bigot known to always jump to the wrong conclusions about everything, say that The Koran can only be interpreted the way you interpret it -- which is the same way as Osama bin Laden and other terrorists (a very small minority of Muslims that follow Islam).
Not surprising, really, because you think like a terrorist with simplistic, hateful ideas on complex ideas.
Most Muslims, however, don't think like terrorists or like you, because they are bright enough to know that The Koran is about Love, Mercy and the Greatness of God the Creator. They know that murder is wrong. You obviously do not because you think like a terrorist.
At the top of every chapter of The Koran it mentions Allah the Merciful.
What does "merciful" mean Honey Pot?
Is a killer or a terrorist merciful? No. Merciful means full of love and mercy for others.
That's what The Koran teaches, even though you cannot see it because you think like a bitter terrorist with a diseased mind.
HP, if you're going to cherrypick passages and take everything in religious texts literally (like Osama bin Laden and his cronies do, as well as the neo-cons of the Christian religious right), you'd better stay away from The Holy Bible and Hindu texts (which are among the bloodiest imaginable).
My all-time favourite is The Book of Revelation and the Great Whore of Babylon.
In any event, you continue to intrepret The Koran like Osama bin Laden because you continuously choose The Dark Side, not The Light.
I'm surprised that you haven't joined Osama's insane jihad already. You spend your entire life looking for things to hate. He's right up your alley.
There's all kinds of credible interpretations of The Koran available, as well as crackpot sites with goofy interpretations like yours.
Stay away from the neo-con religious right explanations as well as the Voices of Jihad and you'd been fine.
But I know that you prefer the Dark Side. The only death cult adherent is Honey Pot.
Geez, I wonder what it means when the Catholic Church says that women can't be priests?
Surely not the subjugation of women? Nah, when The Pope says it, it's just the truth, no offense to women.
Geez, when Noam Chomsky critices the policies of Israel and the United States, does that make him anti-Semetic and anti-American?
I mean, after all, he is a Jewish American.
I can't wrap my mind around that HP, can you?
I thought that everything in life was supposed to black and white. The Good Guys and the Bad Guys, just like George Bush and the CIA tells us.
The U.S., good.
The evildoers, bad.
Whaddya mean that ther U.S. created Al-Qaeda when they covertly funded the mujahadeen in Afghanistan in the 1980s, when the "freedom fighters" were attacking the Soviets.
You mean the U.S. gave Osama and company their weapons?
Nah, the U.S., good.
The evildoers, bad.
Whaddya mean Saddam got his chemical weapons from the U.S. when it was at war with Iran?
Can't be. The U.S., good. The evildoers, bad.
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