Dr. Graham Poulet on Rampage Again
Doctor Graham Poulet, the Middlesex-London medical officer of health is calling for a ban on all domestic and work-place cussing. Citing an opinion by school-board trustee and amateur psychologist Peter Gaffe, linking the use of profanity with the abuse of women, children and Amish hockey players, Dr. Poulet says that in his experience most foul-language is inflicted by men.
Poulet says that eliminating words such as 'shit,' 'cocksucker' and 'ass-faced tit-head' from the workplace would be the first step in eradicating swear words from all aspects of modern society.
"And just imagine what it would be like for our children to grow up in homes where they don't have to endure such obscenity-laden phrases as "lazy fat bastard" or "dream-squelching bitch," he adds.
Poulet elaborates, "Once we become accustomed to our homes, construction sites, factories, operating rooms and teachers' lounges as 'fricking'-free zones, it is only a matter of time before taverns, golf courses, locker-rooms and Chippendale's Ladies-Only Nights will also become places where a Londoner can feel safe and not have to worry about hearing comments about 'hooters' or the comparative size of the male sex-organ or 'my ass and your face' everytime I ask someone for a match."
Poulet then referenced the just-released tapes of the "suicide manifesto" by the killer in the Virginia Tech Massacre. "Hear that," he pointed out when playing the tape for reporters at his hastily-called press conference - "There it is again - 'F-word this' and 'f-word that.' My friends, two hours after those words were spoken, 30 lives were fukkin' lost."
When asked about how some have accused him of being a professional busy-body, a media whore and London's self-appointed hall-monitor, Poulet simply shrugged. When asked if - as the Medical officer of Health - his time might be better spent on more pressing job-related concerns - such as lobbying the federal and provincial governments to reduce waiting times, increase the number of hospital beds and hire more doctors and nurses, Pollet replied that things are always a bit slow around the office this time of year - and that no one ever listens to him anyway. He then muttered something about "that bastard Gaffe always getting the headlines."
But he's not ready to give up yet on this week's project to get himself on the radio and in the paper, maybe even on the TV news.
"Think about it," he implores - "a world free from 'pee-pee's' , 'wee-wee's and 'Git outta ma face yu butt-uglii muthafukka!' ... Really, is that too much to ask?"
Poulet says that eliminating words such as 'shit,' 'cocksucker' and 'ass-faced tit-head' from the workplace would be the first step in eradicating swear words from all aspects of modern society.
"And just imagine what it would be like for our children to grow up in homes where they don't have to endure such obscenity-laden phrases as "lazy fat bastard" or "dream-squelching bitch," he adds.
Poulet elaborates, "Once we become accustomed to our homes, construction sites, factories, operating rooms and teachers' lounges as 'fricking'-free zones, it is only a matter of time before taverns, golf courses, locker-rooms and Chippendale's Ladies-Only Nights will also become places where a Londoner can feel safe and not have to worry about hearing comments about 'hooters' or the comparative size of the male sex-organ or 'my ass and your face' everytime I ask someone for a match."
Poulet then referenced the just-released tapes of the "suicide manifesto" by the killer in the Virginia Tech Massacre. "Hear that," he pointed out when playing the tape for reporters at his hastily-called press conference - "There it is again - 'F-word this' and 'f-word that.' My friends, two hours after those words were spoken, 30 lives were fukkin' lost."
When asked about how some have accused him of being a professional busy-body, a media whore and London's self-appointed hall-monitor, Poulet simply shrugged. When asked if - as the Medical officer of Health - his time might be better spent on more pressing job-related concerns - such as lobbying the federal and provincial governments to reduce waiting times, increase the number of hospital beds and hire more doctors and nurses, Pollet replied that things are always a bit slow around the office this time of year - and that no one ever listens to him anyway. He then muttered something about "that bastard Gaffe always getting the headlines."
But he's not ready to give up yet on this week's project to get himself on the radio and in the paper, maybe even on the TV news.
"Think about it," he implores - "a world free from 'pee-pee's' , 'wee-wee's and 'Git outta ma face yu butt-uglii muthafukka!' ... Really, is that too much to ask?"
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 7:48 AM
8 Comments:
That was fanfuckingtastic! You are a genius! my hero! I love you! hahahahahahahahahahahah
HP - It's that time of year again so I predict his next project will be to ban chewing tobacco from Little League baseball.
Show me a 10-year-old that don't enjoy a mouthful of chaw and I'll show you a sissy.
...it looks like the politically correct are now planning on taking out the jaywalkers. When I think about how much time and money is wasted on foolish non-crimes, it makes me realize our coppers have way too much free time on their hands. Last summer it was those horrible people who dared ride their bikes on sidewalks that nobody walks on anyway. It is all a mystery to me. It seems to be ok to drive drunk in this town as long as you have a judge or cop in your pocket, but damn... try walking across the street without the little man flashing telling you it is ok, and you get a fine.
Rule # one in Hicksville - obey all rules. Even if you are standing on the corner of Dundas & Clarence in broad daylight and there is no cars approaching within four blocks, whatever you do - do not cross the road against a red light. Because that would be wrong.
I'll say this about New York City - at least the citizens know enough to cross the road on a red light instead of standing on the curb looking like mindless idiots waiting for the 'Hand' to tell them it's okay to walk.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/World/Japanese-fooled-in-poodle-scam/2007/04/26/1177459875122.html
Sonny, I don't know why but I can't stop laughing after I read this article. Do you find it amusing?
Heard about it on the radio. That explains all the lambs I see being walked in North London.
Polet(or Poullot) as MOH is an embarrasment While Londoners self destruct by drinking lead poisoned water,ass hole MOH Pollock spends his time and tax payers (big time) money fighing alleged hockey violence. Not satisfied, his ego and stupidity cannot resist making grandiose and absurd claims not about important public health issues but pseudo feminist politics. What arrogance and stupidity.Poulet's efforts to waste tax payers money and ignore true public health issues is disgusting.
April 27, 2007 9:33 AM
Now that you mention it, Sue - but Dr. Poulet, our Medical Officer of Health (who actually has his office in The Contaminated Zone - just down the street from me in fact,) - has yet to be heard from in the lead poisoning fiasco.
Instead we have to get our safe-drinking tips from Cheryl Miller.
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