Batman Seen Crying at Screening of 'Spiderman 3'
A theatre full of comic-book fans were shocked and stunned this week to see Batman openly weeping at a premiere screening of Spiderman 3.
Batman (also known as 'wealthy playboy Bruce Wayne') was observed surreptitiously dabbing at the white blank eye-holes of his cowl on three separate occassions during the movie.
The first time was during the flashback scene where Peter Parker relives the murder of his Uncle Joe. Witnesses in the row behind him claim to have heard the Dark Knight moaning "Oh, Mother and Father, I'm soooo sorry," under his breath.
During the scene where Aunt Meg falls down and breaks her hip while bringing Master Peter a glass of milk and a plate of cookies while he is doing his chemistry homework, some movie-goers saw the Caped Crusader's shoulders shaking as he pulled a white hankie from his utility belt and blew heavily into it while muttering "Alfred, dear Alfred - rest in peace ol' chum."
Lastly, in the closing moments of the film in which Mary Jane tells Peter Parker that she likes the guy from That 70s Show more than him, Batman leaned over and was seen sobbing onto the shoulders of his date, Kim Basinger.
When the movie ended, the Batman was heard explaining that his eyes were moist because he had somehow gotten a husk of popcorn in them. He then punched out the popcorn-bag filler kid at the snack bar and told him to consider it a message for his boss - The Joker.
Batman (also known as 'wealthy playboy Bruce Wayne') was observed surreptitiously dabbing at the white blank eye-holes of his cowl on three separate occassions during the movie.
The first time was during the flashback scene where Peter Parker relives the murder of his Uncle Joe. Witnesses in the row behind him claim to have heard the Dark Knight moaning "Oh, Mother and Father, I'm soooo sorry," under his breath.
During the scene where Aunt Meg falls down and breaks her hip while bringing Master Peter a glass of milk and a plate of cookies while he is doing his chemistry homework, some movie-goers saw the Caped Crusader's shoulders shaking as he pulled a white hankie from his utility belt and blew heavily into it while muttering "Alfred, dear Alfred - rest in peace ol' chum."
Lastly, in the closing moments of the film in which Mary Jane tells Peter Parker that she likes the guy from That 70s Show more than him, Batman leaned over and was seen sobbing onto the shoulders of his date, Kim Basinger.
When the movie ended, the Batman was heard explaining that his eyes were moist because he had somehow gotten a husk of popcorn in them. He then punched out the popcorn-bag filler kid at the snack bar and told him to consider it a message for his boss - The Joker.
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 2:12 AM
2 Comments:
I always knew Batman was a pussy. I knew it!
Au contraire, Young D - can you imagine Superman crying at a chicks' flick (and a super-hero chicks' flick at that!)?
Superman may have powers like super-vulnerability and super-emoting and super tissue-dispensing (gotta use that cape for something) .. but as you know, the whole appeal of The Batman is because he's a REAL man. Gets his strength from himself, not the color of our sun.
And as a REAL man, "millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne" also knows that it's a short space between a spontaneous tear-drop on a Kleenex 'borrowed' from the closest female of the species to a stain on that same person's mattress.
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