The Latest on Bikers Massacre!!!

Since I know next to nothing about motorcycle gangs, as a quasi-journalist, I feel compelled to comment on the recent bloodbath of eight members of a motorcycle gang up Shedden way. In other words, I cannot stand the thought of being the only media player who hasn't shared his uninformed speculations with the reading public. So first off a little background and what I do know about bikers. A couple of summers ago, I read Hunter S. Thompson's 1969 non-fiction book, Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga. And that's it. Which is obviously more than most of the current crop of self-styled motorcycle experts have done. In the book, Hunter rides with the Angels and hangs out and parties with them and makes it very clear that these people are the very scum of the earth. The absolutely lowest scum-suckers in existence. Walking pieces of human excrement. And they know it - and are proud of it. Yet, until you get "stomped" on by them, as Hunter was - you can almost understand the appeal of their life-style. As one member so poetically put it prior to a big-run to terrorize a few small rural California towns enroute to a camping weekend - "There's nothing better than heading out on a run and flying down a stretch of two-lane black-top with a beer in your hand and your ol' lady hanging on behind you. You just grab a bag of pot and your banjo and go, man, go!" Um, excuse me - but did he say "banjo" ? Geez, no wonder no one takes these guys seriously. As a quote, it's almost as good as Barney Fife commenting on the appeal of motorcycle riding in Barney's Sidecar. "It's just you and the wind and the wheel. You know what I discovered when I was out there on the ol' 'cycle, Ange? If you drive downhill straight into the wind at 60 miles an hour, it's almost impossible to pronouce a word that begins with the letter 'S.' " ............... Anyway, back to my speculation about the murders - I typed 'Hunter S. Thompson' into the London Public Library's on-line cataloque and under the entry for their one copy of "Hells Angels," under 'Status', it read "Missing." That's right - missing. As in 'suspiciously vanished,' mysteriously disappeared.' Which brings us to the inevitable logical conclusion - has anyone seen London Public Library CEO Darryl Skidmore, lately? Or Mark Richardson - who works for the library and has written a book about London's Police Department? I haven't seen his weekly column in the London Free Press' op-ed page recently. Is this just a coincidence? ............ Speaking of LFP opinion writers, teen InkBlogger Miranda Emmerson had another gem in yesterday's Free Press on the biker situation, in which she warns us not to respond to the tragedy by unfairly labelling others. To quote: "Leather vests and grizzly haircuts don't necessarily mean 'Watch out, I could be trouble.' " Well, you know honey, maybe it's just the social circles in which I move, but every bag of pot I've bought in the past four decades has been from a guy who rides a motorcycle not in an Armani suit but a leather jacket. He also has a grizzled beard and hair and he answers to the name of "Butch" - or "Saucy Susie," depending on his state of drug/alcohol-fuelled inebrieation at the time. Miranda has another jaw-dropper in today's Free Press in which she supports London Knights manager Mark Hunter's wish to force Rogers Television to fire any on-air broadcaster who isn't a big enough Knights cheerleader. She bases this on the fact that even tho she's been to a London Knights hockey game before - "I've never watched a London game on television." (!?!?) Simply amazing. You know, I'm all for encouraging young writers but maybe one should be a little older than 15 before you are allowed to embarrass yourself so publicly in print. And shame on the editorial board of the London Free Press for allowing the poor girls to do this to herself. But Miranda at least has her youth as an excuse. There's no excuse from another Free Press story quoting another expert in yesterday's paper about the excitement and glamorous appeal to joining a biker gang - "Just look at it. All the women you want, all the money you want. There are a lot of attractive features," says biker authority James Dubro. And you just know that some unemployed numbskull lunkhead with bullying-and-thug-like tendencies is going to read that and go join a gang. Well, if you read about the lives of these 8 murdered bikers, their lives don't seem too glamorous. All of them had broken marriages, worked at crappy jobs and were so lonely for female companionship that they would have considered themselves lucky to bang the occassional hooker. As for all the money - well, their national leader lives in a rundown chicken shack out in the middle of nowhere. ..... But the media is right when they say that no one deserves to die irregardless of their lifestyle - or crimes and murders they may have committed as a member of any particular club they belong to. Each of those murder victims was someone's son or father or brother. They were also incredibly bad role-models. Maybe now some impressionable little kid will think twice about joining a biker gang after seeing what happened to his dad or big brother or 'Uncle Jimmy.' No, Mr. Media, no one deserves to die. Just don't expect us to shed any tears over their deaths. The undeniable truth is that with eight of them gone and hopefully four more about to be put out of commission for a long time - the world is a better place.