Some Things I've Learned on the Picket-Line

It's now officially a month that I've been out on strike with my OPSEU brothers and sisters against our employer Community Living London which is financed by Premier Dalton McGuinty's Liberal provincial government.

I've tried to keep my sanity by parking my brain in an idling position. Hence, the shortage of blogging on this site as of late. But I have managed to notice a couple of things that normally wouldn't have occured to me had I not been on strike.

So, here they are -

1. Dalton McGuinty probably doesn't read my blog. Four weeks and two posts ago I issued a challenge to Dalton on this very site, that I was going to smoke one cigarette every time I had to show up on a picket line. But to this date, he hasn't even responded. He either doesn't read this blog or he's a cruel heartless reptilian from outer space who also kills kittens. The bastard.

2. Porta-potties make a nice visual addition to any suburban neighbourhood - especially those new parts of town where the only shade comes from newly-planted saplings. The presence of these bright green-and-yellow moveable outhouses gives suburban streetscapes an almost surreal touch. It's very Tim Burton. Also somewhat reminiscent of Europe after the war.

3. Although most women have an aversion to uttering the swear-word "Muthafukka," if scabs are involved and trying to cross a picket-line to do our jobs, most women are capable of hurling expletive-deleted insults and cussing like sailors.

4. No one under the age of 30 has ever heard of Wally Cox. No one under the age of 25 has ever heard of Marlon Brando (the actor.)

5. That 'urban dance music' stuff gets old real fast. Especially when played at high volume.

6. Any loudmouth parent who tells the media that her developmentally-challenged kid is now being taken better care of by replacement workers and that the home the kid lived in was a pig-sty before the strike is a lousy parent. If that was all true, what kind of parent willingly keeps her child in a place if the conditions are really as appalling as she alleges? Nice try, lady.

7. Never believe anythng you read in the media. Try not to feel too insulted when management is quoted as saying "We are coping quite well, thank you." And conversely, take anything said in the media by the Grand Pooh-Bahs of your union executive with a big grain of salt.

8. The strategy of both sides of a strike boils down to this - each side is waiting for the other to pick up the phone and make the first phone call. In the meantime, the workers who walk the picket-lines wait. And wait.

9. Even after a month, I still haven't become bitter or cynical and as of yet, haven't woken up dreading having to be on a picket line at 8 a.m. Did I mention that I've parked my brain for the past month?

10. I am really enjoying my bike-ride to my picket location on Adelaide Steet South because I can take the bike paths along the river almost all the way there. So far I've seen a snake, a turtle, a blue heron, a couple of bunnies, a ground-hog, baby ducklings, hawks, about 800 squirrels and a DEER. One morning, shortly after I passed Wellington, a young deer came bounding out of the trees along the river, crossed the bike-path, stopped about fifty feet away in a clearing. I got off my bike and we just stared at each other until it finally sauntered off into the woods. I guess it was just waiting to see if I was going to pull a shot-gun out of my purse before it decided that I wasn't a threat. I've never seen a deer in the city before so it was like something out of 'Bambi.'

11. On the same bike-path I also regularly come across some pretty rough-looking characters and neer-do-wells the closer I get to Wellington. I've seen people sleeping under the Wellington Road bridge on the rainy mornings. The other day I saw a young good-looking slightly-rumpled prostitute stepping out of the brush behind Labatt's between Ridout and Richmond. Of course, there's always the chance that she wasn't a prostitute - but who wears high heels on a nature trail?

12. Even if a cement truck is showing no respect for the picket-line and almost runs you down and keeps nudging you with the front of his truck, you don't back down. As it happened to me two weeks ago. You stand your ground. You look straight into the face of Death and laugh. I tell you it was just like Tiannamon Square. Well, without the being-flattened part.

13. Contrary to popular belief, 20 hours a week of picket-duty is harder work than a full-time job. Nothing can be more monotonous than walking back and forth carrying a sign. It's mind-numbing and soul-draining and until you are used to it, leaves you emotinally and physically exhausted. Don't beleive me? Well, walk a mile in my brain, pal.

14. Toronto is the capital of the provincial government. Ottawa is the capital of the federal government.

15. My kid is turning into quite the cook. By disregarding the directions on the Kraft Dinner box and adding too much milk, he makes a great Kraft Dinner soup.

16. I don't care how low the strike-pay is or how poor I get, I'll always be able to find the money for Ding-Dongs. Same goes for my bowling night and my weekly cribbage-match with the boys every Saturday afternoon down at 'Hooters.'

17. You can get just as bombed on an $11 carton of wine as you can off a thirty-dollar bottle.