New Contest!

So, I'm at Call The Office last night. Me and the boy got up at 11:30 to go see London's legendary lunk-heads - '63 Monroe (and I mean that as a compliment - see previous posts on how 'Shemp' was the best Stooge of them all - possibly the best in his own family,) and this middle-aged woman I've never met before comes up to me while the band is playng and presents me with a moral conundrum.

Now - I should point out that - unless specified on the concert ticket, all shows at Call the Office are all-ages shows. Me and Gnut (age 13) get there and I give him a tour of the layout of the inside and patio, show him where the washroom is and let him know that "And I'll be here, right outside the door if you need me."

And them we met some rock stars - Peter DeKoker, the bass-player, MC-extraordinaire and resident Bacharach/David of '63 Monroe - and them Michael McGill, bassist, lead singer of London's legendary Legend Killers. And the tallest guy in town.

I should also point out that Peter is a dead-ringer for that Ned Flanders-like neighbourhood know-it-all who used to be in those Canadian Tire commercials. And Michael could probably be the poster-boy for white bread. He's clean-cut and as wholesome looking as the day is long.

So there you go - I've set the scene - it's the boy's first trip to see a 'real' rock band in a prime venue. I would have taken him to see the White Stripes play behind an abandoned flour mill in Arva a few weeks ago - but nooooo, I was too involved in the 'cowboy' movie I was watching at the time.

Anyway, Gnut and I are standing there near the stage, digging the on-stage musical antics of Steven R. Stunning and company and this middle-aged lady in a print dress comes over and tries to tell me something. Seein' as how we're four feet from the amps, I had to ask her to walk away a few feet so I could hear her.

And she says to me - "I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOU BRINGING A CHILD TO A BAR."

Not a word about how it's nice of me to encourage an interest in music. Or how it's good for the 'child' to see how the other world lives (particularly those well-behaved non-drinking middle-aged white guys who seem to comprise Monroe's core audience,) nor a word about father/son bonding or how it's good for a lad to see how much moral integrity a married man can have when young chicks with really big breasts are constantly throwing themselves at him.

But NOOOOOO - instead it's "I'm not comfortable with you bringing a child to a bar."

... So here's where you the reader comes in - Just what do you say to an idiot like that?

I've been on a picket-line for the past eight weeks and have no problem hurling verbal abuse at people I don't know and who deserve it - so I WON'T tell you what I said. After all, this is a family-rated General Admission blog - as all you muthafukka's out there already know.

Sooo, what would YOU say in such a circumstance?

The winner for the best comeback gets my life-long respect and high-fives from both hands.