Classic Rock Fan Doesn't Get Laid after Cheap Trick Concert.
Baby-boomer Dwight Schmidlapt went home alone last night after being unable to connect with his date at the outdoor Classic Rock concert in London's Harris Park which featured 70s bands like Cheap Trick, Trooper and Pat Benatar.
"This is getting to be a problem," said Schmidlapt after leaving the event. "But at least I had a date this time. Too bad she wasn't there when I was supposed to meet her outside the porta-potties right before Cheap Trick went on as the last act of the night. But I guess that wasn't her fault. I blame it all on the promoters and organizers of 'Rock the Park.'
Schmidlapt went on to explain that he had wanted only to see Cheap Trick and then get laid and so he arranged to meet his date, "Trudi, from accounting" at 9:30 right before the band should be going on as the headliners to close out the night.
"But get this," he points out - "Whoever the assholes are who organized this thing, they put the Trick on second last and chose Pat FRICKIN' Benatar as the headliner! Geez, everyone knows that as a classic rock act, she's no closer. You know, there's a reason that I chose to go down there with only enough time to see the last act. And it's because I wanted to avoid lame-ass crap like Benatar. Same with Trooper. Shit man, everyone knows Cheap Trick was the biggest name on that ticket!
"So I get there and I'm stuck having to listen to Pat Frickin' Benatar - but my date, Trudi, is nowhere to be seen. I found out later that she left with some guy she met dancing up front while Cheap Trick were playing their set at 8:30. Ain't that a pisser?"
Another "pisser" was when Schmidlapt bumped into Yvonne Cooperman who was at the outdoor concert with her husband and in-laws. "What are the chances, eh?" asks Cooperman. "I run into this Schmidlapt jerk at every concert I've been to in the past two months! He ruined my night at Stevie Nicks, Gwen Stefani and now Pat Benatar.
"Patti's up there singing 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot' - and I mean really belting it out - and here's this Schmidlapt clown standing next to us and yelling out for her to play 'Dream Police.' I called security."
Schmidlapt remains optimistic despite how the night turned out. "I always try to look on the bright side," he says. "I don't mind getting kicked out of a Pat Benatar concert. In fact, I'm kinda proud of it.
"But the really funny thing in all this is that I DID get to hear Cheap Trick LIVE last night! Ironically, as I was heading down to the concert in my Mazda - at the very same time that Cheap Trick was actually up on stage in the park - I was listening to 'Live at Budokan' on my car stereo! Is that too crazy or what?
"As for not getting laid - again - maybe I'll have better luck at the George Thorogood show in the park tomorrow night. I hear he's 'Bad to the Bone.' Chicks love that kind of stuff. And if not, Rufus Wainwright is coming to town next month. I can wait."
"This is getting to be a problem," said Schmidlapt after leaving the event. "But at least I had a date this time. Too bad she wasn't there when I was supposed to meet her outside the porta-potties right before Cheap Trick went on as the last act of the night. But I guess that wasn't her fault. I blame it all on the promoters and organizers of 'Rock the Park.'
Schmidlapt went on to explain that he had wanted only to see Cheap Trick and then get laid and so he arranged to meet his date, "Trudi, from accounting" at 9:30 right before the band should be going on as the headliners to close out the night.
"But get this," he points out - "Whoever the assholes are who organized this thing, they put the Trick on second last and chose Pat FRICKIN' Benatar as the headliner! Geez, everyone knows that as a classic rock act, she's no closer. You know, there's a reason that I chose to go down there with only enough time to see the last act. And it's because I wanted to avoid lame-ass crap like Benatar. Same with Trooper. Shit man, everyone knows Cheap Trick was the biggest name on that ticket!
"So I get there and I'm stuck having to listen to Pat Frickin' Benatar - but my date, Trudi, is nowhere to be seen. I found out later that she left with some guy she met dancing up front while Cheap Trick were playing their set at 8:30. Ain't that a pisser?"
Another "pisser" was when Schmidlapt bumped into Yvonne Cooperman who was at the outdoor concert with her husband and in-laws. "What are the chances, eh?" asks Cooperman. "I run into this Schmidlapt jerk at every concert I've been to in the past two months! He ruined my night at Stevie Nicks, Gwen Stefani and now Pat Benatar.
"Patti's up there singing 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot' - and I mean really belting it out - and here's this Schmidlapt clown standing next to us and yelling out for her to play 'Dream Police.' I called security."
Schmidlapt remains optimistic despite how the night turned out. "I always try to look on the bright side," he says. "I don't mind getting kicked out of a Pat Benatar concert. In fact, I'm kinda proud of it.
"But the really funny thing in all this is that I DID get to hear Cheap Trick LIVE last night! Ironically, as I was heading down to the concert in my Mazda - at the very same time that Cheap Trick was actually up on stage in the park - I was listening to 'Live at Budokan' on my car stereo! Is that too crazy or what?
"As for not getting laid - again - maybe I'll have better luck at the George Thorogood show in the park tomorrow night. I hear he's 'Bad to the Bone.' Chicks love that kind of stuff. And if not, Rufus Wainwright is coming to town next month. I can wait."
posted by Sonny Drysdale at 1:53 AM
22 Comments:
Not like the good old days where you could just go to a concert and get boinked. All that free love stuff has gone with the wind.
Butch is always available. Depending on whether or not Betty is in town or visiting her sisters in Iowa.
Sugar Scoop, once again, you been hangin' with the wrong perverts.
Gone with the wind?
There's plenty of lovin' in pig farmin' country.
Butch, if I thought you were up to the job, able to complete it.....well I might. I just would feel bad if it made you have a heart attack and die. You would die happy, but who would help poor Betty down on the farm?
...you are just obsessed with your tallywhacker and I shouldn't be encouraging you. It would be terrible for Betty to find you in bed with your hand frozen, claw like, wrapped around your little chub, the rigor mortis sit in.
Cock-adoodle-do!
It's taffy pullin' time down on the farm and Honey Pot's set to do all the pullin' with her teeth!
It wasn't for pleasure she went to this measure,
It was for the ch-e-e-e-e-ze underneath ...
Sugar Scoop, I have convinced Betty to unban you on alt-london, on the following days:
New Year's Day
Valentine's Day
St. Patrick's Day
April Fools' Day
May 24 Weekend
Canada Day
August Civic Holiday (August 6, 2007)
Labour Day
Halloween
Christmas Day
ON THE CONDITION that you talk doity to me on those special occasions.
So the first opportunity to Square the Gib and Hoist the Main Sail is Monday, August 6, starting at the Glorious Stroke of midnight.
I can hardly wait ... Anticipation ....Anticipation ....
We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway, yay
And I wonder if I'm really with you now
Or just chasin' after some finer day
Anticipation, anticipation
Is makin' me late
Is keepin' me waitin'
And I tell you how easy it feels to be with you
And how right your arms feel around me
But I, I rehearsed those lines just late last night
When I was thinkin' about how right tonight might be
Anticipation, anticipation
Is makin' me late
Is keepin' me waitin'
And tomorrow we might not be together
I'm no prophet and I don't know nature's ways
So I'll try and see into your eyes right now
And stay right here 'cause these are the good old days
(These are the good old days)
And stay right here 'cause these are the good old days
(These are the good old days)
(These are the good old days)
(These are the good old days)
(These are...the good old days)
Sonny, it must irk the CLL workers when they found out about the $32,000,000.00 slush fund given to multicultural groups to buy immigrant votes by the liberals.
Dalton is just following the path of the federal liberals who ripped us off for all that money. The liberals and the ndp would sell us to the taliban if they thought they could line their pockets and that of their friends.
Should be an interesting election.
That's what I cherish about ol' HP Sugar Scoop.
She's always equating Canadian immigrants to either the Taliban or terrorists.
She should be the toothless Poster Girl for the Aryan Nation, with a tattoo of Adolf on her bicep.
Not all of them, but not a doubt in my mind, some of them. Dalton and his crew just gave money to anyone, no questions asked. The only thing you needed to qualify was to be an immigrant, or have a family member being an elected official of the corrupt liberal party. That is one money trail that is going to be interesting to follow.
Honey Pot - about Dalton's throwing money around like a drunken sailor, well let's just say that at our protest in Toronto yesterday there were lots of picket signs shaped like cricket bats.
For those who haven't heard, Dalton's provincial government has been getting ready for the October election by handing out grants to various ethnic groups.
The most famous example is the grant to the Cricket Association of Ontario. They had asked for a grant of %15,000. They got $1-million.
That's one way to buy the votes of formerly upper-class Brit twits.
Good chance someone in his family, or someone in the liberal party is a cricket player. What a bunch of assholes. I am hoping someone stays on this and follows the corruption of the provincial liberal party.
Fuck my old boots, London radio stations in the morning are so freaking boring. Could they not get someone on there with a bit of fire in their bellies?
"If there's a story in town, you can bet John Wilson is on it."
As long as the story involves automoblies, cars or the pet causes of our local MPs & MPPs.
... and don't even get me started on Andy Noodleman.
Maybe Jim Chapman will return to the airwaves after he doesn't get elected again.
hmmmmm, Butch is doing good on the radio.
He didn't swear or make a comment about anyone's tits or nuttin' like that. That charm school he was ordered to go to after he got caught masterbating in public is surely paying off.
Sugar Scoop, I was hoping you'd call in to relate the story how you once licked the ball joints off a '57 Chevy and then sold them to an old train engineer in order to buy a case of Labatt's 50 for your jailbird boyfriend.
Next time, call in!
Butch - were you filling in for the 'Godfather of Sports' again whilst he was off fishin'?
Sorry I missed ya.
Actually I was going to call in, but it rained last night. I cut my phone line with the lawn mower last summer, and Bell wanted to charge me $90.00 to fix it. I said to hell with that, so I just duct taped it. It doesn't work after it rains for a day or two. Everyone knows they can't call me when it rains. I just don't want to pay the $90.00 until it dies completely. I had a cell phone for a month. The kids gave it to me for xmas, but I gave it away. The kids kept calling the bank of mommyall constantly, and it was driving me nuts.
You did well Butch
Hey Butch, they should have a radio show with you and me as co-hosts. We could shake this town up. You could talk and I could tell you to shut up all the time. I think it would be a hit.
Sonny, write something,,,it is that time.
I know everything is all fucked up in your life right now, but trust me, one door shuts another one opens.
Sonny, the pics on alt-london of that rustbucket CN bridge over Wharncliffe did the trick in the wake of the tragedy in Minnesota.
Andy Oudman gave me a full 40 minutes.
Now Rogers TV-13 is covering that butt-ugly shitbox bridge on First Local at 5:30 pm and 6:30 pm. They didn't call me but sent a camera crew over to show the world how neglected that CN bridge is.
The Freep and the Clown Squad will get around to the story in three weeks.
A radio show, eh, HP? I'm interested only if you wear a nurse's uniform to the studio.
That way I'd have a woodey on for the duration of the show.
Honey Pot - I was talking to Dwight Schmidlapt last night and he was heading down to the Balloon Fest to hear Kim Mitchell.
I'll post a new story after I hear whether he got laid or not.
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