Because It Wouldn't Be Thanksgiving Without Him

Last month while everyone was sweating over the stove roasting a turkey on the hottest day of the year, I wasn't.

I had learned my lesson back in 1963 which was the last time temperatures reached 30 degrees Celsius in Ontario on a Thanksgiving weekend. As I told me missus that day, "Mother, put that bird back in the freezer. It's too dern hot for turkey. We'll just wait till the end of November and celebrate with the Americans."

And it's worked out fine. This year, while everyone else spent Thanksgiving in a hot kitchen, my family and I were in Michigan going to all the Columbus Day sales and getting a start on our Thanksgiving-gift shopping.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but really, how in the world can you celebrate Thanksgiving in the first week of October? How can you give thanks for a bountiful harvest when there are still crops in the fields? How can you have a Harvest Moon Dance when it's just too dern hot to shake it?

Let's face it - the Americans know how to DO Thanksgiving.

First off, they deliberately chose to hold the holiday on a Thursday, thus guaranteeing a minimum four-day weekend. Throw in travelling time and you have six days off. They basically close down the entire country for almost a week just so everyone can spend long periods of time with their extended families while stuffing their faces and watching television. Now, that's my kinda country.

But up here, Thanksgiving is on a Monday. Everyone does their big turkey dinner on the Sunday, which means the next day is spent doing work around the house and putting up storms. Some holiday.

Even their Thanksgiving origin story is better than ours. How can you not want to join in the fun when you know it's about the Indians and those Pilgrim guys sharing corn-on-the-cob and wild turkey. All that stuff about Pocahontas and Captain John Smith splitting a banana split? It's the stuff of legends.

And what comparable folklore does Canada have? Nothin'. Just that old wives' tale about how a car full of American tourists once got lost looking for the Northwest Passage in the 1930s and ended up breaking bread and sharing perogies with a bunch of sodbusters in Saskatchewan.

Why, we don't even commemorate the occassion with a parade.

Oh sure, all Canadian towns have their own Santa Claus parades. But I ask you - what kind of Thanksgiving is it if you don't celebrate it with high-school marching bands, a cornucopia of gaily decorated floats and giant hot-air balloons based on forgotten Saturday morning cartoon characters?

That's why my family chooses to give our thanks on the same day as our American neighbours.

It's a long-time tradition. The kids take that particular Thursday off school. We gather in the living room with our friend Mr. Television and spend the morning watching the Macy's parade broadcast live from New York City. The excitement builds as we wonder and wager if this will be the year they cancel the Underdog balloon. The popularity of Wally Cox notwithstanding, just how long can you keep a parade attraction going when his TV show has been off the air for decades?

But we can rest easy this year. Underdog is a sure bet due to the live-action Disney 'Underdog' feature film which was out for a couple of weeks this past summer. The official release of the DVD isn't till December 18 but I have a bootleg copy I managed to score off a shady-looking 10-year-old outside the Cineplex and that's what we're watching after that parade this year instead of the usual old stand-by 'Miracle on 34th Street.'

It doesn't matter if the new version has next to nothing in common with the original cartoon. It doesn't matter if it's basically just another 'talking-dog movie.' Thanks to that parade, Underdog is a Thanksgiving icon. Possibly better known to the young people these days as a balloon than a cartoon.

And this particular holiday is all about Tradition. As evidenced by the capital 'T.' And in my house, that means wearing Pilgrim hats at the dinner table and saying thanks for family, turkeys that are roasted and not barbequed - and even for parade balloons of animated superhero dogs.

That's what Thanksgiving is all about.